My Son Could Have His Own TV Show

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If you’ve been around here long, you know I love to write about the quirky conversations that my son Colin and I have. He’s fabulous: very smart and extremely sweet. He’s also a bit unusual. He’s been compared to Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Spencer Reid. (Yes, we’re constantly working on his social skills and “street smarts.”)

But the bottom line? Colin is a really great kid.

One of the many things that I love about the boy is that he is very literal and rule-oriented. And he’s damn funny. He keeps me laughing on a daily basis. Here are a few of my absolute favorite quips from him.

Driving down a steep, windy road:

Erin and Mr. Foxy: “Weeeeeeeee!”
Mr. Foxy: “It’s like a roller coaster!”
Erin: “Weeee!”
Colin: “Well, yeah. Except we’re in a 4-person car. And there’s a steering wheel.”

Eating dessert at the dinner table:

Erin to Mr. Foxy: “You’re the best dad ever.”
Mr. Foxy to Erin: “You’re the best daughter ever.”
Erin to me: “You’re the best mommy ever.”
Me to Erin: “You’re the best daughter ever.”
Erin to Colin: “You’re the best brother ever.”
Everyone: …
Colin (not looking up from his bowl): “I’m busy eating ice cream.”

Getting Colin dressed in his pajamas:

Me: “Look at you! Snug as a bug in a rug!”
Colin: “No…I’m snug as a boy in a shirt.”

While kissing Colin good-night last night:

Me: “What are you most looking forward to at school tomorrow?”
Colin: “That it’s one day closer to Saturday.”

While shampooing his hair:

Colin: “It smells tasty, but it’s not.”

Looking at Colin’s crusty, bloody nose:

Me: “Colin, were you picking your nose again?”
Colin: “Uhhh, no. I was just pushing boogers out of the way.”

At bathtime:

Me: “Colin, are you done with your bath yet?”
Colin: “No. I haven’t washed my hair.”
Me: “Why not? You’ve been in there long enough to wash 12 heads of hair!”
Colin: “I can’t help it. I get distracted by my mind.”
Me: “Oh? What’s going on in your mind?”
Colin: “Awesome thoughts.”

I wish I could crawl into that brain and see all of those awesome thoughts.

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14 Responses

  1. My daughter is like that too. She told her teacher that people with dog parks would get jealous if there was fish parks. They were talking statistics and how people who love dogs would be more inclined to go to dog parks etc. Anyways, fish parks are where you drop your fish off in a pool and you can swim with them and then when you are ready to go you just reel them in. My daughter always has a sarcastic or witty comment. Her teacher was dying of laughter and told all the other classes about it.

  2. He sounds like a treat!

    My son was (is) like that. He had a habit, when he was younger, of starting most of his sentences with “Actually….,” to the point it became a family joke. I noticed, however, that the adults would all stop talking and look at him when he’d say “Actually…” because he always had some fascinating tidbit to add to the conversation. “Actually, alligators have 342 teeth, and they shed them regularly” (totally made that “fact” up as an example.)

    He watched a lot of Discovery Channel, and the kid’s retention was just off the charts. What fascinated me most was his ability to process what he learned and apply it.

    I’m with you- sometimes I wish for a peak inside that round little head, to see the wonders coming to life in his brain.

  3. Does he tell you “You’re in my spot” a lot too? 🙂 Or knock on your door three times and repeat “Foxy, Foxy, Foxy” ?

  4. I wish I did a better job capturing all of the great things my son says. I never seem to have a pen (or phone) handy when I need one.

  5. I do so love dry wit!! ESPECIALLY from the mouths of babes. It shows they were raised with “culture” 😉

    Allow me to share one from each of my babies (17 & 10)

    Me: Waking up
    Erin (10): Daddy I want a kiss (as she’s crawling all over me trying to do so)
    Me: Get off me
    Erin: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH…Don’t spoil the moment!!

    Me to Erin: Girl you are working my last nerve
    Hannah (17): Daddy you should’ve just rolled over that night…

    Good times!!!

  6. It’s like an insight into what my mother had to deal with when I was a child.
    I get called Sheldon a lot. Or Spock. Or ‘oh shut up you miserable git’.

  7. I just love this kid!! Kinda made me wanna have one… but then I got over it!!

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