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Having Fun While Your Mom Is in the ICU

By Foxy

It's possible to have fun while your loved one is in the ICU. I'll show you how. @foxywinepocket | humor | hospital

My mother almost died a few weeks ago. Like—was rushed by ambulance to the ER, spent nine days in the hospital, needed multiple transfusions in the ICU—almost died.

To say the experience was scary and stressful is an understatement. But, we also had some fun. And, because I’m nothing if not helpful, I’ve compiled a list of ways you can have fun while your mom (or another loved one) is in ICU as well.

  1. Appreciate the firefighters’, uhhh, skill as they load your mom into the emergency vehicle. Take a stealthy a picture to show your mother later. Because you know she’ll appreciate it.
  2. Admire the fancy barf bags in the ER. Pretend to puke. Perform a puppet show for your unconscious parental unit.

barfbag

  1. Say, “Azrael? Are you dead?” any time you re-enter your mom’s hospital room.
  2. Then say, “Fortunately, you are only mostly dead.”
  3. Any time she gets a shot or a new IV, reassure your mom, “It’s just a little prick… Bet you never thought you’d be happy about that, eh?”
  4. Talk your doped-up mom into making obscene hand gestures. Be sure to capture a photo.

middlefinger

  1. Then entertain yourself the nursing staff with your E.T. impersonations.
  2. While she’s sleeping, confess all of the bad stuff you did as a child. Don’t leave anything out.
  3. Embrace your 12-year-old boy humor when reviewing the bed controls.

bedcontrols

  1. While pet-sitting her dog, break the “ABSOLUTELY NO GLASS ON THE PATIO” rule.

glassonpatio

  1. Then do it again the next day because it was fun.
bottleonpatio

Even her dog is scolding me.

  1. When FaceTiming your husband at night, put on a clown nose to see if he’s really paying attention to you.

FaceTimeClownNose

  1. Do things you know would really annoy your mom, like leaving dishes in the sink overnight and not making the bed in the morning.

sinkandbed

  1. Console yourself that your mother’s snoring dog is still quieter than your snoring husband.
  2. Delight in the new use for your carry-on bag—it’s a mobile office!

carryonbag

P.S. Mom, I’m so glad you’re doing better. xoxo

P.P.S. I drank all of your wine. And your beer.

Photo Credit: arnoaltix / 123RF Stock Photo


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Filed Under: Life Lessons

Comments

  1. Elly Lonon says

    July 12, 2016 at 5:54 am

    Odds are she’s still on meds contraindicated for alcohol consumption, yeah? So you are one noble bitch. True story.

    Also I’m glad she’s doing ok. And that you didn’t break any glasses.
    Elly Lonon recently posted…Hate Is Not NewMy Profile

    • Foxy says

      July 12, 2016 at 10:30 am

      “One noble bitch” is my new tagline. And thank you. xoxo

      • Liv says

        July 12, 2016 at 5:28 pm

        Elly is always looking for the bright side isn’t she. She’s right though – you were absolutely doing your mom a favor. Hope you got all the chocolate and junk food too. She’s not going to need that for a while.

        (Glad she’s better. I was worried about you both).
        Liv recently posted…A Gift Horse or a Horse’s Ass?My Profile

  2. Irish Marie says

    July 12, 2016 at 6:52 am

    And where is the pic of the firefighters/emt hmmmmmmm?

    • Foxy says

      July 12, 2016 at 10:31 am

      HAHA! I knew someone would ask. 🙂 It somehow, uhhh, got deleted. 😉

  3. Lisa Elliot says

    July 12, 2016 at 8:52 am

    God, your humour….. I think I love you!

    • Foxy says

      July 12, 2016 at 10:31 am

      I love you for getting my humor! xoxo

  4. Spoken Like A True Nut says

    July 12, 2016 at 11:37 am

    Aw man, no one ever takes pictures of firefighters for me when I land myself in the hospital.
    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted…It’s the first day of summer. Feliz Navidad!My Profile

  5. Jeannie says

    July 12, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    Loved this story😁😝👍😋❗️ I could picture everything you wrote😁👍❗️ Having just had lunch with your Mom, I can testify to her improving health and agility👭🍕🍟🍝🍷❗️

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