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Dead Celebrity New Year’s Eve Party: The Details

By Foxy

Every New Year’s Eve our fabulous freighbors (friends + neighbors) throw an equally fabulous party. It’s the one #nottomiss. There is always a ridiculous theme, incredible food and drink (and some more drink), and—most importantly—our wonderful freighbors. Oh, and no kids. Did I forget to mention that part?

NYE 2012’s theme was Movie and Television Characters. That year Mr. Foxy and I dressed up as Ron Swanson and Tammy 2 from Parks and Recreation. We planned our costumes very carefully. My husband shaved his goatee and grew the appropriate Ron Swanson mustache and wore an amazing collared sweater that even Ron would envy. I donned a tight animal print cardigan and equally tight black skirt and slapped myself with beef jerky all night. We were fucking amazing.

The problem was we didn’t actually get to attend the party together. Our babysitter got sick so we had to take turns at the party. To further complicate matters, I was under the false impression that I was drinking champagne during my turn at the party. I never actually got my own drink and didn’t realize the champagne cocktails had shots of lemon-basil vodka in them. So three glasses later, I stumbled home to relieve Mr. Foxy, and I promptly passed out on my bed. Missing midnight. Missing the rest of the party. I did get to eat the beef jerky the next day though. Delicious.

NYE 2013’s theme was Dead Celebrity, which I happen to think it is the best party theme ever. Honestly, I don’t think we can ever top it, but we’re going to have fun trying. Here was the invitation:

“Please help us ring in the new year by dressing up as your favorite DEAD CELEBRITY.  Poke fun or pay tribute, any era or point in time… no limits on your imagination.  Just come prepared to give your celebrity’s own eulogy.”

So folks were to dress as their favorite dead celebrity (or just any they thought they could pull off). That part seemed easy enough. But the contest—delivering your own eulogy? Shit just got real.

Mr. Foxy and I pondered many a night what dead celebrities we should be. We tend to prefer going as a couple (not a requirement) so that was part of our consideration. We’d brainstorm, get distracted by something, and drop the topic for weeks at a time. Then one day while I was rifling through the crap piles organizing the garage, I stumbled upon an outfit my mother had given me about a decade ago. It was a spectacular hunter-green jumpsuit from the late 60s. Complete with tassels and ENORMOUS bell bottom pants.

That jumpsuit served as my inspiration for my Dead Celebrity: Janis Joplin. Not terribly original, I realize, but I was going to more than make up for it in authenticity. We quickly decided that my husband should be Jerry Garcia. And we went to work. We researched and acquired the appropriate sunglasses for each of us. Mr. Foxy bought a wig and selected some very simple clothes (plain t-shirt, jeans, and simple suede jacket). I found the most amazing fringe vest to go over my jumpsuit. And the most awesome coat. And ridiculous amounts of beaded and metal jewelry for my neck, arms, and fingers. And a feather boa for my hair.

We're amazing. I know. @foxywinepocket.com

And then there were the details. The tiny, almost unnoticeable details: I carried a bottle of pills (remember the Xanax that didn’t work for the foster dog?), a syringe, cigarettes, and a fifth of Southern Comfort around with me. Mr. Foxy drew Janis’ tattoo on my left arm. And some track marks. And I stopped shaving a month or so prior to the party. So I had leg hair and armpit hair for everyone to see. And you can bet that I showed everyone. Several times.

But the best part of my costume? It required no makeup or shoes. Messy hair was preferred. And I had to keep drinking to stay in character. Sometimes I think I’m fucking brilliant.

In case you were wondering, here are some of the other dead celebrities that attended the party:

  • Farrah Fawcett
  • Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers
  • Amy Winehouse
  • Another Janis Joplin (I told you my costume wasn’t original, but the Janises had an amazing night together.)
  • MCA
  • Jacquie Onassis
  • Hedy Lamarr
  • Sir Charles Sedley and John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester (Yeah, I didn’t know them either.)
  • Bob Denver
  • Mitch Hedberg
  • Walt Disney and Annette Funicello
  • Charlie Sheen (who should be dead, right?)

Everyone looked fabulous, and there were no clear-cut winners in my mind. Just a bunch of ridiculously fun and silly freighbors having an epic party.

Oh, yeah! The eulogy part. Naturally, Janis Joplin and Jerry Garcia sang a song for their eulogies. Mr. Foxy has actual musical talent so he played the guitar while I screamed my Bad Poetry Thursday-style lyrics. And here they are (sung to “Piece of My Heart”):

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on!

Wasn't I born in Port Arthur Texas—where no one belongs! YEAH!
And wasn't I unpopular until I screamed some really loud songs?
Honey, you know I was!

And each time I tell my band that I, well I think I've had enough,
And I'm gonna show you, baby, that a solo can be tough.

I want me to come on, come on, come on, come on and shoot it!
Shoot another little gram in my vein now, baby!
Oh, oh, shoot it! Shoot another little gram in my vein now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, oh, have a! Have another little gram in my vein now, baby,
I know I got it when it makes me feel good.

Oh, yes indeed. Oops. 

(Falls over and overdoses on heroin.)

Fortunately for me, Mr. Foxy and I were the first ones to deliver our eulogies so no one had their recording devices ready. (It’s safer for everyone that way, believe me.) BUT someone did capture my untimely death.

Dead Janis

(That’s a syringe “sticking” out of my arm.) Well, there you go, Joy @ ComfyTown Chronicles. You wanted the details. Better late than never, right?


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Filed Under: Around the Neighborhood

Comments

  1. Joy says

    January 16, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    OMG. You look so dead in that picture! Were you classicly trained? Obviously.
    That party soumds awesome! Mitch Hedberg?! Loved him. Sounds like an absolute blast! The year before, not as much but you guys were troopers for going in shifts. I hope your neighbors know how lucky they are! Thank you for sharing, we never go anywhere on New Year, so it was nice to hear some parents somewhere are breaking stereotypes! That picture is still cracking me up!

    • Foxy says

      January 16, 2014 at 8:09 pm

      Yes, clearly, I was classically trained. I had to sit down for a few minutes to recover after that performance–very drained. Mr. Foxy and I consider ourselves incredibly lucky to live by such amazing and fun and smart and silly people. We are the lucky ones indeed.

  2. One Funny Motha says

    January 18, 2014 at 11:45 am

    Hells yeah you’re lucky. I don’t have any cool friends like that, dammit. Sound like a blast. Are awards given?

    • Foxy says

      January 21, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      There were awards given in 2012. We’ve haven’t heard anything about 2013–I think we’re all still hungover. I’m officially inviting you for our party this year.

  3. Ashley BigTopFamily says

    January 31, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Wow, just wow. We have “freighbors” too (sooo stealing that) who would be totally game. Sounds EPIC and you really committed to your character. I don’t think even real Academy Award winning actresses grow out their armpit hair for a role. They probably use a body double or something. I expect a full account of every NYE from here on out!

    • Foxy says

      February 18, 2014 at 2:58 pm

      I only hope our future parties can live up to that one. It was epic for sure. I love that you have freighbors too–they’re the best.

Trackbacks

  1. Before You Buy This House, You Should Know I May Have Defiled It | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    March 18, 2014 at 5:00 am

    […] give it a test ride. After all, whoever buys this house will be invited to our block parties and our New Year’s Eve parties, so we had to make sure we knew the layout of the house in order to stumble in to use the bathroom […]

  2. Mondays Fucking Suck (This One, In Particular) | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    June 14, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    […] That’s when we determined she had very real and very severe separation anxiety. At that point, we had to change plans for the holiday break so we could stay home with her. I skipped dinner on Christmas Eve. We had a simple Christmas dinner at home instead of joining the extended family out of town. And we cancelled all of the day trips we had planned with the kids over the Christmas break. Luckily Grandma was able to watch both the kids AND the dogs for New Year’s Eve. It would have been very sad to miss the Dead Celebrity Party. […]

  3. Foxy and The Keeper says:
    July 23, 2014 at 7:55 am

    […] it a test ride. After all, whoever buys this house will be invited to our block parties and our New Year’s Eve parties, so we had to make sure we knew the layout of the house in order to stumble in to use the bathroom […]

  4. The Kiss List - Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    June 2, 2015 at 7:14 am

    […] and I were sitting around a fire pit, drinking wine, and shooting the shit. We told stories of past parties, neighbors we have violated, and other ridiculous […]

  5. What Happens in Vegas…Gets Posted on This Blog | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    January 12, 2016 at 8:01 am

    […] with a short performance, according to a designated theme. Past themes have been Television Stars, Dead Celebrity, and […]

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