Foxy Wine Pocket

Me, uncensored.

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About

Who are you? HeadshotI’m a mom and a writer, and I live in the San Francisco Bay Area of California. I have two school-aged children and one fabulous husband (that’d be weird if I had more than one, right?). I inhale books, bacon, and wine, and my interests include over-sharing, Jason Bateman, and crashing high school reunions.

Is Foxy your real name? Uhhhh, no. My real name is Kathryn Leehane. Foxy is my blog name or alter-ego. I liken Foxy to my monkey puppet. She’s saying what I’m thinking. Okay, fine. I’m saying it too. But I really want a monkey puppet.

What the fuck is a Foxy Wine Pocket? That’s a made-up term. It’s a combination of a foxy pocket, which is an old-fashioned term for a hidden stash of cash, and a wine pocket, which is a dress pocket in which I hold wine. Read the full story here. (Yes, I was drinking when I made up that term.)

So what’s your blog about? Twisted suburban mom stories. Random ridiculousness. Supreme silliness. You’ll discover right away that I drink, swear, and sometimes talk about sex and other inappropriate topics. I am not one-size-fits-all. But hopefully, I’ll make you laugh by saying out loud what you might only be thinking. Or maybe you say it out loud too, in which case we should hang out. Call me.

Some of my personal favorite posts:

  • Why I’ll Never Have Another Brazilian Again
  • 9 Rules of Swearing for My Children
  • The Pooping Tree
  • Before You Buy This House, You Should Know I May Have Defiled It
  • Masturbation Is Okay and Other Obscene Hand Gestures
  • Motherhood Is Disgusting

What’s up with the swearing? Yeah, I swear. A lot. But with purpose. And not in front of the children, I swear. (See what I did there?) Just read around the words that offend you.

Do you write other stuff? I’m in some books, and I write serious shit elsewhere, but not here. Most of it you probably haven’t read because it’s corporate proprietary nonsense. But I may push the other stuff on you sometime. Like these posts:

  • Reclaiming Lost Love
  • When the Legal System Fails Sexual Assault Victims, We Have to Find Our Own Closure
  • Suicide Is Not a Bad Word
  • Transitions
  • The Two Missing Kids: Explaining Miscarriage to Children

What can I buy you for Christmas? I love books, naps (can you buy those?), and pork products. Throw in some wine and cheese, and we’ve got ourselves a party—any time of the year.

Anything else you can tell me about you? I like parenthetical statements and strikethrough text. (A lot.)

Uhhh, how about something else? Well, here are some things other people have said about me:

  • “Foxy Wine Pocket is life.”– Joel Ryan, The Glad Stork
  • “I sometimes wonder if, in fact, you are a gay man, and I love it.”– Cary Vaughn, The Reluctant Cat Owner’s Journal
  • “What is wrong with you?”– Ashley Allen, Big Top Family
  • “You’re like The Bloggess, but with less taxidermy.” – blog reader
  • “You saved somebody’s life. I was going to kill my mom until I read your piece on The Grandparent Hangover.” – blog reader
  • “NSFW and completely inappropriate.” – blog reader

How can I contact you? My contact information is located here. You can also follow me on social media. See those colorful buttons in the upper right corner of my page? Click on them—all of them.

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Comments

  1. Ami says

    June 11, 2014 at 11:25 am

    How have I lived so long without you? You are officially my “New Favorite Thing on the Internet.” Plus, I also reside in the Bay Area with elementary school-aged children. And I love wine! And fucking profanity! It’s like we were made to be best friends. Or maybe we’re clones. I’ve been watching a lot of Orphan Black lately so I’m keeping my eye out for sister clones. You know what? I hope we can just be friends and not clones. I think that might get weird. Email me back and I’ll buy the first round of drinks. Love Ami

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      June 17, 2014 at 11:41 pm

      Ami! You’re my new best friend. We’re going to make this happen. And I’m not just saying that because free drinks. 😉 xoxo

      Reply
  2. Crystal says

    July 2, 2014 at 8:01 am

    You are too awesome!!!! LOL

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      August 19, 2014 at 10:17 pm

      And I keep company with really awesome people. (Thanks for being my friend!) xoxo

      Reply
  3. Tove Stakkestad says

    July 15, 2014 at 5:29 am

    I seriously have a blogger crush – you are cracking me up! Thank you for being the Robin to my Batman… – or maybe I should let you be Batman since you are way more funny.

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      August 19, 2014 at 10:17 pm

      Hell, I’ll be any superhero you want me to be if you keep saying nice things! 😉

      Reply
  4. Chrissie Walker says

    August 14, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Just read your Brazilian article …and just subscribed to your updates. You are an amazing writer. Love your humour. Laughed till I cried. My Internet magazine is here but your Website box didn’t accept it! http://www.mostlyfood.co.uk

    Kind regards and best wishes from London

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      August 19, 2014 at 10:18 pm

      Thank you so much for the kind words, Chrissie. I really appreciate it! Looking forward to checking out your Internet magazine. xoxo

      Reply
  5. Marta says

    August 20, 2014 at 6:14 am

    The photo! Finally! Gorgeous picture, great writer and kick-ass Mom, I’m sure. I’ve been following for some time and am not going to stop any time soon. Looking forward to what comes next 🙂

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      August 20, 2014 at 9:29 pm

      Well, Marta. You’re now my new favorite with all sorts of lovely words like that. Thank you. xoxo

      Reply
  6. Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense says

    August 20, 2014 at 8:10 am

    I knew I adored you. =)

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      August 20, 2014 at 9:28 pm

      xoxo

      Reply
  7. Drama Queen's Momma says

    August 20, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    Awww man! I am soooo disappointed! I seriously thought Foxy was your real name. 😉 hehehe

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      August 20, 2014 at 9:28 pm

      Sorry about that. I promise to make it up to you with a ridiculous story about nuts next week. xoxo

      Reply
  8. Natali Drake says

    August 20, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    I’m a British mum in Spain and I’ve finally found my kindred spirit in San Fran! I absolutely love your posts. I read many many blogs a day, I write a few too, but none as hilarious and heart warming as yours. If ever you’re in Spain look me up – drinking wine is obligatory in this country and dirt cheap! 🙂

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      September 1, 2014 at 9:06 pm

      Thank you for the lovely words, Natali! Spain is on My List, so I will definitely let you know when I’m in town. xoxo

      Reply
  9. Teri says

    August 21, 2014 at 4:50 am

    So THAT’S what you look like. I didn’t recognize you without your mask on a stick.

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      September 1, 2014 at 9:07 pm

      Or hanging out in the back seat of your car? Love you, funny lady! xoxo

      Reply
  10. Kate bridges says

    August 21, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    A girl after my own heart! I love love love your style of writing, and am extremely grateful to have found a blog that can be my new obsession! (I have to fill the void that watching four entire seasons of Suits has left in my life!)

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      September 1, 2014 at 9:08 pm

      Wow. After those kind words, I love love love you. I’m looking forward to checking out your blog as well. xoxo

      Reply
  11. Lisa R. Petty says

    August 22, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    You are beautiful. I’m glad you are showing your face.

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      September 1, 2014 at 9:08 pm

      Thank you, friend. I love your beautiful face. xoxo

      Reply
  12. Kathy says

    September 22, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    I thought you would like to know you have the honor of being the first blog I’ve ever subscribed to. A FB friend posted your article about removing a dead animal from under your mom’s house. Pure entertainment. And the same sense of humor as me, lol. I’m from the Bay Area, too. Looking forward to your upcoming blog posts!!

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      October 6, 2014 at 5:17 pm

      I feel incredibly honored indeed! Seriously. Hopefully I can deliver more laughs. Thank you for subscribing!

      Reply
  13. Helen Boulos says

    October 10, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    Oh my word. Just came home from seeing the movie The Judge. I love Robert Downey Jr. But his intensity was too much. Dark film, dark eyes, led to dark thoughts, then I came home and found you! What an amazing blog. I love your writing and the fact that you have such a sense of humor but share so many serious experiences as well. I would say I am your new biggest fan but it looks like I may have to duke it out over that spot. Can’t wait to see what you fill my mailbox with every day!

    Reply
    • Foxy says

      January 28, 2015 at 12:11 pm

      Oh my, Helen. This is one of my favorite comments ever! Thank you so much. I hope I’m keeping your mailbox happy. xoxo

      Reply
  14. Melissa Ruiz says

    January 30, 2015 at 11:09 am

    I love your stuff almost as much as I love you. You keep it real with humor-whats not to love?! Gotta sign out now cuz the screaming kid two booths over is a mood kill when you have grown kids and your just trying to read a little foxy wine pocket in peace.
    Love you,
    Melissa

    Reply
  15. Melissa Landis says

    January 30, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    I fucking LOVE your blog!!!
    ‘Nuf said 😉
    xoxo from your east coast friend –
    Melis
    (Boston)

    Reply
  16. Jodi Fletcher says

    January 31, 2015 at 7:31 am

    Where have you been all my life?? I wanna hang out & drink & eat bacon with you. Like all day. I heart you. You had me at books, bacon, wine & swearing

    Reply
  17. Mommy Catharsis says

    February 2, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    Found you on Sammiches and Psych Meds. I look forward to becoming a loyal follower!

    Reply
  18. Angie says

    September 4, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    OMG! You are a riot sister! I just stumbled upon your blog as I was reading articles for colonoscopy prep. :/ The article you wrote, a while ago, that was posted on scarymommy.com had me wanting to become a stalker to find out who you were, ha! I live in Alaska now, but grew up in the bay area. Campbell, specifically. I just subscribed to your blog , so I can stalk you full time. 😉 Love your articles and your writing style. Really keeps me engaged and laughing out loud. Oh and the colonoscopy article, right on. I’m just starting my prep and will be following your advice. Sooooo not looking forward to this. Thanks for sharing your funny stories with the world! You’re a gem!

    Reply
  19. Honest Mum says

    January 13, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    Yay, loving your blog, honest and hilarious!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. BlogHer: The Good, The Bad, The Awkward | Aussa Lorens says:
    July 29, 2014 at 10:29 am

    […]  I can also brag that I’ve seen the actual human faces behind the avatars of Darcy Perdu, Foxy Wine Pocket, and Princess Rosebud (though hers was only briefly, as she vivaciously flounced in, placed […]

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  2. Kathryn from “Foxy Wine Pocket” Has Issues & a Giveaway! | Abby Has Issues says:
    January 31, 2015 at 10:32 am

    […] without further ado, I present to you Ms. Foxy Wine Pocket, […]

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  3. Friday’s Top 5 4/10 | says:
    April 10, 2015 at 9:03 am

    […] Foxy Wine Pocket Twisted Suburban Mom Humor With A Glass Or Ten Of Wine […]

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  4. This is What Really Goes On at a Blog Conference - Aussa Lorens says:
    June 9, 2015 at 7:01 am

    […] Kathryn/Foxy and her twin, Audrey spilling her crack cocaine on the table, Outmanned Mommy kicking ass while wearing a baby, and Ponies and Martinis giving me the obligatory “dafuq?” […]

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  5. Two ways to look at life…. | Rose Tinted Ramblings says:
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