Me: “I had a really bizarre dream last night.”
Mr. Foxy (only half paying attention because—let’s face it—I have a lot of bizarre dreams): “Yeah? What about?”
Me: “Well, I shoved a bunch of popcorn in my vagina.”
Mr. Foxy (now paying very close attention): “You did what?!”
Me: “I shoved a bunch of popcorn in my vagina. I’m not sure why though—I don’t really remember that part.”
Mr. Foxy: “Well, were you saving it for later?”
Me: “No, I got it out during the dream.”
Mr. Foxy: “Did you get off on it?”
Me: “No. It wasn’t a sexual dream.”
Mr. Foxy: “Did you not have any pockets free then?”
Me: “Guess not. Well, except for the pocket it my vagina. Of course.”
Mr. Foxy: “Of course. I know how you love pockets.”
Me: “Indeed I do. Especially vagina pockets. Apparently.”
Mr. Foxy (determined to solve the mystery): “Was it movie popcorn?”
Me: “I don’t think so. It’s weird ‘cuz I don’t even eat popcorn. Except for Target popcorn. But this was popcorn of indeterminate origin. In my vagina pocket.”
I thought I had coined a new term, but nope. It’s in Urban Dictionary already. But I totally like my definition better.
(^^That’s^^ not a vagina pocket. And I’m not going to post one. This isn’t *that* kind of blog.)
Photo Credit: choreograph / 123RF Stock Photo
13 Responses
Oh, Foxy…if I had a dollar for every time I inserted goldfish crackers into my vagina pocket, I’d be one rich…wait that’s my sweatsuit pocket. Nevermind. Very funny.
Now I’m gonna dream about putting goldfish in my vagina. Thanks. 😉
I had to go to Urban Dictionary to look this up since the picture of the jeans wasn’t saying “vagina pocket” to me. Now that I know, I will be buying some workout clothes with the little pocket for my kid’s goldfish.
I guess that (Urban Dictionary’s) vagina pocket works well for keys or such. I like my vagina pocket better. But I wasn’t going to post a picture of it.
Yeah urban dictionary’s definition totally sucked. Maybe you are preparing to be a drug mule? You always hear about someone putting something in an orifice.
That must be it. Now that Breaking Bad is over, I’m just trying to start a new series…
Statistics show 99% of the dreams people share are boring, the 1% that are NOT boring? Involve body parts. True story.
Now I will be singing “Vaaaaag-I-na Pocket” to the tune of the Hot Pockets jingle. So thanks!
Now I too will be singing that to the Hot Pocket jingle thing. Thank you.
HAHAHAHA!! I wasn’t singing it before, but now I am. I’ve modified it slightly: “Where you gonna put it? VaGIna pocket!”
I’ve TOTALLY had dreams where I have found things inside my VP. Maybe it starts with finding a tampon I thought I had taken out, but then it escalates to pencils, mascara, a necklace I lost many years ago. Glad to hear other people have the same weirdo subconscious as me.
HAHAHAHA! I love it–especially the missing necklace. On the tampon front, when I was a teen, my mother warned me SO. MANY. TIMES. to change my tampons every 4-6 hours that I became OCD about it. I still have dreams about finding a dozen or so tampons in my VP that I had forgotten to remove.
I love Target popcorn! Also, I sometimes put things like my MP3 player under a boob when I’m cleaning the house and my pj pants have no pockets. I refer to them as my upside down pockets. It’s also a great way to warm up a wax strip before doing your brows!
HA! That is a weird dream! And funny that your husband was totally into deciphering it! (Mine would have been too! lol)