How to Flavor Your Alcohol with Sangria

This sangria is absolutely delicious, but it will fuck you up if you're not careful. @foxywinepocket | humor | sangria recipe

Every once in awhile, I post a recipe on here. I should note that I only post my most favorite eats and drinks—so they’re worth checking out, IMHO. Speaking of which, have you tried Bacon Bar Nuts yet? If not, you’re missing out. Seriously missing out.

Anyhow, the weather is getting warmer, and folks are gearing up for party season. So I thought our recipe for sangria would be especially appropriate. It’s delicious and refreshing, and it packs a certain punch. (Get it? Punch? Okay, I’ll stop.)

This sangria goes by several different names. We change it up depending on the occasion. In honor of Harold Camping‘s predicted Rapture and Judgment Day, we had some friends over, made a small batch, and called it “Rapture Juice.” Because we love the television show Parks & Recreation, we had a party, made a larger batch, and called it “Snake Juice.” When Mr. Foxy turned 40, we made a GIANTFUCKING batch, and called it “Fountain of Youth Juice.” (My freighbor told me that, while she enjoyed it immensely, it actually aged her a few years.)

I wasn’t kidding. We really called it that.
I wasn’t kidding. We really called it that.

My husband, who fancies himself a bartender, created this very special sangria recipe. His entire goal was to make the most alcoholic sangria ever that stills tastes good. He studied a bunch of different recipes and picked his favorite ingredients from each of them. And then, because he wanted to ensure that every single liquid in the sangria was alcoholic, he came up with the pièce de résistance for the carbonation—Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

To make a small* batch, you need the following ingredients:

  • 1 bottle of red Spanish table wine (I’ve got a white wine recipe too!)
  • 1 orange, sliced
  • 1 lemon, sliced
  • 1 lime, sliced
  • ¾ cup of triple sec
  • ½ cup of blackberry brandy
  • ½ cup of peach schnapps
  • 1 bottle of Mike’s Hard Lemonade

Step 1: Mix the wine and the sliced citrus fruit in a glass container and let sit in the refrigerator for 24 hours.

This was a motherfuckinggiant batch. Do not attempt this at home.
This was a motherfuckinggiant batch. Do not attempt this at home.

Step 2: To the wine-citrus mixture, stir in the triple sec, blackberry brandy, peach schnapps, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Adjust quantities to suit your tastes.

The Egyptians were inspired by this sangria to build the Great Pyramids.
The Egyptians were inspired by this sangria to build the Great Pyramids.

Step 3: Consume responsibly. This sangria will fuck you up. If you aren’t careful, you might end up in Stage 6 or 7 on my 7-Point Scale of Drunkenness.

Step 4: Watch the hilarity that ensues. Or be the hilarity that ensues.

You’re welcome.

 

*Here are the quantities in case you want to make larger batches. Because, sangria.

Sangria (medium vat)

  • 3 bottles of red Spanish table wine
  • 2 oranges, sliced
  • 2 lemons, sliced
  • 2 limes, sliced
  • 2 cups of triple sec
  • ½ cup of blackberry brandy
  • ½ cup of peach schnapps
  • 3 bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade

Sangria (large vat)

  • 5 bottles of red Spanish table wine
  • 3 oranges, sliced
  • 3 lemons, sliced
  • 3 limes, sliced
  • 750 mL of triple sec
  • ¾ bottle of blackberry brandy
  • ¾ bottle of peach schnapps
  • 4-5 bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade

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15 Responses

  1. Winey Foxy Kelly Pocket,

    I am forever looking for a decent Sangria recipe. Based on the amount that I have made and consumed I think that Dan’s recipe is going to become my go-to. Because, delicious.

    I can tell that it is delicious just from the list of ingredients. Mike’s hard Lemonade. Fucking brill!
    56 Days to BlogU14!

    1. Oh Pattie, my husband will be so happy to hear your words. Apparently I don’t call him “fucking brilliant” nearly enough. Can’t wait to toast with you in-person. Cheers!

  2. My Spaniard husband will have to be the one who blesses this recipe… he knows from Sangria. Too bad we never Entertain. Because that would mean Socializing with People.

    1. The small, single-bottle batch serves 2 quite nicely. Just make sure your husband knows the goal of the recipe is not authenticity; it’s delicious drunken debauchery. I think he can get *behind* that. (See what I did there?)

  3. I can’t touch sangria, unfortunately. When I was a senior in high school, my parents went to Europe for a week. So my much older brother took me to a tailgate party at Stanford before they played football against Notre Dame. The sangria flowed at this party. To prove your point about getting fucked up and being the hilarity, I had my first experience passing out drunk, my first unidentified drunken injuries, and I evidently got kicked out of Hoover Tower at some point in the afternoon. Good times!

    1. Oh, I hear you. And raise you Rum & Coke. And Mexico. And Montezuma’s revenge. Although you’ve got me beat with getting kicked out of Hoover Tower.

  4. This sounds amazing! Next, your husband will have to concoct a white sangria for people like me who can’t do red wine too well 😉

    1. Thank you. It really is delicious. And, just FYI, the small batch serves two quite nicely. No need to wait for company.

  5. So I’m pretty sure I’m the only mom on the cusp of 40 who hates wine. I know, I’m properly ashamed. However, I had sangria a few months ago that was so freaking good I wanted to bathe in it. I’m going to test this little condition you gave and see if I’m bathing in a new tub of wine;)
    Vicky

  6. I’m so glad you’re back up and running because I needed this recipe. You see, my in-laws are coming for Easter and this is a sure-fire way to making sure they get drunk, which makes them far more tolerable. Cheers to you! XO

  7. totally sure my husband and i could drink the medium batch alone. in a night. so, that said, ill have to try it 😛

  8. Love that the wine you use is called Blood of the Bull! Bet it has a little alcohol in it.

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