When Kramer (you know who Kramer is, right? RIGHT?!) created his coffee table book about coffee tables, I fell in love with the idea of making a coffee table book of my own. So simple. So elegant. So few words necessary.
Over the years, I’ve kept a mental list of all of the coffee table books that I would make. As I am one of the best procrastinators of all time, I recently started sketching out some of these coffee table book ideas instead of working on my actual book (the one with lots of words). It’s a delightful distraction, and it doesn’t feel as much like cheating as watching YouTube videos all day.
One of my coffee table book ideas is centered around my son Colin. If you’ve been around here long, you know I love to write about the quirky conversations that he and I have. He’s fabulous: very smart and extremely sweet. He’s also a bit unusual. He’s been compared to Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Spencer Reid. (Yes, we’re constantly working on his social skills and “street smarts.”)
Colin is a great kid.
One of the many things that I love about Colin is that he is totally unaffected by other people’s opinions and standards. He likes what he likes, and he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. He’s quite confident and steadfast in his own beliefs.
So with that introduction, I present to you the proposal for my first coffee table book:
Unconventional Colin: A Pictorial Tribute to a Boy Who Loves What He Loves and Doesn’t Give a Shit What You Think
Colin loves his iPod touch. (Of course he does.) Rather than use it comfortably in a chair, Colin finds a nice spot on the cold, hard floor by a wall. In a room full of chairs and tables.
Colin loves trucks. While some kids push trucks around on the floor or on a table, Colin chooses to examine this truck a little more closely. A little more intimately. (I think he’s mentally redesigning the engine.) Clearly, he’s quite comfortable in this office waiting room.
Colin loves Legos. Never mind that they are pointy and scratchy and hurty. He loves them so much he sleeps with them.
Colin loves looking at the toys in Target. He does not, however, love looking at toilet cleaner. Here he patiently waits for me to select a toilet cleaner so he can go look at the toys.
Colin loves pajamas. Any time. Any place. Here he is wearing his pajamas on an errand to the post office with his sister. (Actually, I could do an entire coffee table book about the places Colin has worn pajamas—berry picking, bowling, at the airport, at the pool…)
Colin loves to sleep, and he loves to go to bed wearing strange things. Here he is wearing pajama bottoms as a hat and sunglasses. (Not included is the picture of him cuddling with a rubber chicken.)
Colin loves love and pretty things. When his sister didn’t want her heart pillow any more, he happily took it and put it in his own room.
Colin loves color. When the girls were painting their nails for an 80s party, he joined right in.
Colin likes to wear bowls on his head. Don’t question it.
Colin loves his stuffed animals. He likes to play with them. And, apparently, he likes to sleep on them too. (He later woke up, having peed all over those stuffed animals so I actually hate this picture. Maybe I shouldn’t include it in the book.)
Colin loves water. But he doesn’t like to swim. But he loves pajamas (remember?). Here he combines his love of water, pajamas, and naps.
Colin loves what he loves. And he loves to put everything that he loves together. Here he is in the car scoffing at the fashion standards of the world. Even his face tells you, “I don’t give a shit what you think.”
We could all learn a lot from Colin.
44 Responses
Freaking awesome!!!!!!
Thank you. I think I am too. Oh WAIT. You meant my son. 😉
I love it! Reminds me of my grandson. My daughter had to give him his own kitchen cabinet to sit in.
To sit in? That’s fabulous!! Please tell me there are pictures!
Colin is amazing. And wicked smart…who WOULDN’T want to wear pajamas and take naps? This kid has it figured out. He must be an old soul.
Pajamas and naps… RIGHT?!
Is it too early to preorder?
I’ll put you on the top of the list, Chris! xoxo
The pajamas and hand in the water got me. And the last photo. I want to be more like Colin.
Me too. Although my yoga pants double as pajamas.
Good for him!!!! That’s awesome.
He’s the best. 🙂
Boys have a special way of attaching themselves to their mother’s heart. I love my girls — but my boy — well, he’s my boy! Colin sounds awesome!
He really is awesome. And he’s learning what sells. So he’s going to be unstoppable soon.
I freaking LOVE Colin. LURVE him. And his mama isn’t too bad, either 😉
Well, Colin IS my mini-me. Except for the gender part, I guess.
They’re all good but I like the nap with the hand in the pool the best!
That one is one of my very favorites too. I’m surprised the photo came out–I was laughing so hard.
L O V E the last picture!
There is so much right with that photo. SO MUCH.
Love this! Your Colin and my Peter would get along REALLY well and could probably take over the world!! I love the pictures!!!
Yeah, I’m pretty sure the two of them are already hatching their plans…
We should start a club for awesome quirky boys! My son sounds a lot like Colin. I had to paint Wyatt’s nails a couple of weeks ago and he is still proudly showing off his purple nails … also he would (and has) worn pajamas virtually every place. His favorite day at school? Pajama day of course! He is obsessed with legos (and the lego movie and the lego apps on his kindle and looking at legos at Target and … yeah …) and loves nothing more than to build trains out of his legos. He’s not one to build what the lego kits are supposed to build – he builds what he wants. (And he totally gets the “I don’t give a shit” look about things … which kinda freaks me out sometimes because I can see exactly what he’s thinking – but has learned not to say …). He used to take apart his trucks “to see what’s inside it, mama!” Wyatt is working on his social skills, too – thank goodness for amazing staff at the school he attends, for seeing this need in others, too – they have a social skills group that meets a few times a week. He’s done so much work on himself these past couple of years, putting himself out there and taking risks … He makes me proud! Anyways, I think there are lots of these awesome kids out there just waiting to discover their passions and become the Bill Gates of whatever it is they love. Kudos to you, mama, for celebrating Colin!!
And KUDOS to you too. Wyatt sounds like an amazing boy!! I can’t wait to see what they grow up to be. Okay. That doesn’t need to happen super fast. I’m enjoying this little boy too much. xoxo
DO IT! Do it, I say! I love your coffee table book! And I also procrastinate with more fun things….
I have a few more coffee table book ideas. You’ll have to tell me your favorite. And sketching those out definitely beats cleaning or cooking or laundry or anything like that too…
I love the nap at the edge of the pool with his hand in it. I bet was a nice cool place to lie down!
My daughter has a similar mindset. Here’s what I like/what I’m going to do. You don’t like it? Oh. Well, you can fuck off, then. She wears her cow hat (hat that’s a cow face with two long flaps hanging down over either ear) to school, to camp, to bed…everywhere I’ll let her (which is pretty much just not the bathtub or the pool). So the pajama bottoms and sunglasses reminded me a LOT of her.
HOW DO I NOT HAVE A COW HAT?!! I need to see a picture of her in the hat. It can be a secret one…
Check your inbox 🙂
The socks are the best.
My son, as you know, has similar tics, quirks, and affectations. Right now he is enjoying clapping in a circle every time he likes anything (think “2 snaps in a Z formation” but with clapping.) He also sleeps with a million hardbound books in his bed and a pink & white unicorn that was initially declared “too girly”. See where it is now.
He also puts on a pair of bright teal Perry the Platypus winter gloves whenever he wants to a) work in the yard/garden, b) play goalkeeper, and c) whatever else might demand gloves to enact the fantasy. And heaven help me if he can’t find the Perry gloves. HEAVEN HELP ME.
And he tried to take two full-length plastic swords with him into the bathtub this morning. So there’s that.
<3 Colin. Maybe we'll get the boys together in September! They'll probably hate each other 😉
I love his sock collection. Stars, shamrocks, dogs, hearts… He doesn’t do it anymore, but he used to wear socks and sandals with his pajamas. I’ll have to dig up some good pictures for you–that was an awesome phase.
I can’t wait to meet your son!!! (Oh, and you too.)
Omg, Colin and my middle child have so much in common. He’s 12 though and he freaks the eff out over his privacy, so I don’t get to tell all my stories. *sigh* I should’ve started younger.
Yeah, eventually I’m going to have to stop telling stories about him, I imagine. So far, he’s okay with the whole blog thing. Sigh…
Colin and the Boy are like peas in a pod. Seriously. He’s 15 and STILL wears crazy socks. He thinks white, athletic socks are ridiculous. He wears them with shorts, pants, to a tennis match, whatever. Just don’t make him wear white socks. 😀
OMG, we should compare sock collections. Colin LOVES the crazy socks. And I might encourage it a little because it’s so cute. He went around today wearing knee-high shamrock socks with his plaid shorts and a Minecraft t-shirt. Quite the fashion statement.
That photo of him in the car may be the best photo ever taken. Love this post – awesome!
I think that one is my very favorite one of him so far. It just says AWESOME on so many levels. Thank you!
And, I totally admire him for that!! I wish there were more Colins who did what they loved without caring about what the world thought!
Such a free spirit! I love it!
What a great kid you have. My youngest had that same “I don’t give a shit about what you think” attitude. He changed a little now that he is a senior in high school but he still kept some of it. I love your pictures!
Napping with his hand in the pool was all kinds of awesome. Looks like he partied hard. Also, love the Star Wars sheets. Do they still sell the old ones? They look like the old ones anyway.
This is really so touching, actually. 🙂 Funny, yes, but also one of the sweetest and least sappy tributes from a mom to her son that I’ve read in a while.
LOVE THIS! Colin is now my spirit animal! I love that he loves what he loves and that is THAT, baby. Honey Badger don’t care — and neither does Colin!
OMG, that picture of Colin sleeping with the stuffed animals… you have IKEA Kitty!!! (the orange and white striped guy) That’s my son’s most beloved friend and since IKEA no longer makes them, they are like $90 on ebay last time I looked. IKEA Kitty is no longer allowed to leave the house. More precious than gold!