Foxy Wine Pocket

Me, uncensored.

  • About
  • Books
  • Events
  • Contact Me

10 Rules of Mom Club

By Foxy

I’ve started a Mom Club. It’s for regular moms like me that are sick of all the competition and judgments that come from non-members. But there are 10 rules you must follow. @foxywinepocket #parenting #humor #wine

I’ve started a new club. It’s a very important club, but I’m only inviting a few friends. Honestly, I don’t think most of you can hack it. The initiation is rigorous, and the pressure to break the rules intense.

I’m calling this club, “Mom Club.” It’s for regular moms like me that are sick of all the competition and judgmental attitudes that come from non-members.

Please take careful note of the following rules before applying:

  1. No cleaning. You do not need to clean your house before other moms come over. If your house is perfect, we’re going to have to kick you out of the club. Oh, oh, oh, unless you’re OCD or something—then it’s okay. BUT if you expect the rest us to clean our houses before you come over, you’re out.
  2. Call them “meetings.” When making lunch, coffee, or wine plans with other moms, do not tell people you are going to lunch, coffee, or wine. You’re having a very important meeting. Is that going to be a problem? Are you too honest? Don’t join this club.
  3. Do not criticize another mom’s kids. I don’t care if that mom is talking shit about her own kid, and you absolutely agree. DO NOT JOIN IN. As the mom, she has the right to criticize the child. You do not. Just nod your head, tell her she’s doing a great job, and the pour some more wine for everyone.
  4. We “sharpen the saw.” It’s not a pedicure or shopping or a massage. It’s an investment in your well-being. Call it a refining day, training, or professional development. Otherwise outsiders are bound to misunderstand.
  5. Do not over-volunteer. Now it’s okay to do your part, and you absolutely should. But don’t be that mom who does everything and then gives the rest of us “the eye” when we don’t. Other moms will resent you, and then you won’t have enough time for our “meetings.”
  6. Do not overdo the non-holiday holidays. Valentine’s Day? St. Patrick’s Day? Flag Day? THEY’RE NOT REAL HOLIDAYS. It’s okay to lightly celebrate them. I can suggest an adult-themed beverage in honor of the day. But, for the love of Mom Club, stop decorating your entire house and making holiday-themed food and crafts. And, whatever you do, do not give out presents left by gnomes, gold coins, glitter, or other ridiculous shit. That makes it too difficult for the rest of us.
  7. Give a heads-up to your fellow members. Did you just talk to your kids about sex? Reveal the secret behind Santa and the Tooth Fairy? Agree to buy your tween a cell phone? Then help a mom out and let us know so we can prepare our kids. And ourselves.
  8. Do not, under any circumstances, include us in your parental obligations. Sure, we’ll babysit for each other every once in awhile, but don’t invite us to your child’s dance recital, sporting event, chess tournament, or spelling bee. That’s your cross to bear. Ours is heavy enough as it is.
  9. Don’t make other members look bad. If you do any of these things on a daily basis–sex, home-cooked meals, showering, laundry, cleaning, or really anything domestic—then you better not mention that in front of our spouses. Seriously, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
  10. No judgment or unsolicited advice. Do you have strong opinions about bottle vs. breastfeeding? When and how to potty-train? Homeschooling? Co-sleeping? Working vs. staying-at-home? Keep them to yourself. We all do what we need to do to survive in this brutal battle of parenting. Unless someone specifically asks for your advice, keep your trap shut. Wine can help.

So. Do you think you can handle it? Then we’d love to have you. Membership dues include your favorite beverage. In case you hadn’t figured it out already, I’m bringing wine.

P.S. Certain dads can apply as well.


Follow Foxy Wine Pocket on Facebook and Twitter. You can also subscribe to my blog and never miss a new post. It’s quick and easy! (That’s what she said.)

Filed Under: Parenting?

Comments

  1. Shawna says

    August 14, 2014 at 4:08 am

    Genius! I’m in…

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:14 am

      Welcome!

  2. Michelle says

    August 14, 2014 at 4:44 am

    I could be a part of this club…I could be an officer. Sargent at arms maybe? Ohhh..treasurer. Yeah, I can be treasurer.

    You can trust me. I swear.

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:14 am

      You’re in. We need a bartender–can you tend bar?

  3. tricia says

    August 14, 2014 at 4:51 am

    I am seriously considering starting this Mom Club! It sounds AMAZING, and absolutely needed! Especially with school starting and all of the B.S. that ensues!

    Thank you for giving us this inspirational idea! This club will give is the time and opportunity to be REAL people again, not just the robots we become!

    Again, THANK YOU!
    Tricia Counter, aka Aiden’s Mommy

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:15 am

      You’re very welcome. I’m glad to hear there will be more chapters of this very important club.

  4. Vicki Lesage says

    August 14, 2014 at 5:02 am

    Damn, I’m out at #1. I’ll just have to read the club’s minutes.

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:15 am

      You can stay if you clean my house too. 😉

      • Brandie says

        January 28, 2015 at 2:12 pm

        Not unless she ALSO cleans mine! I promise not to!

  5. Kristine Laco says

    August 14, 2014 at 5:07 am

    Can Halloween be a real holiday? I love to scare other people’s children, that should count for something… the rest I don’t do (except for the beverage and celebratory chocolate).
    If I’m in, I’ve got the vodka.

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:16 am

      Halloween is absolutely a real holiday. Because, free candy.

  6. ACParent says

    August 14, 2014 at 5:07 am

    Oooh, oooh, can I please be one of the select few dads that can join? I promise I will follow the rules (even #10: if club members are having sex every day I vow not to use that info to get the same out of my spouse).

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:16 am

      I was specifically thinking of you when I wrote that. You’re in.

  7. Teri says

    August 14, 2014 at 5:11 am

    You had me at “No Cleaning”!!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:17 am

      Exactly.

  8. Kathy Radigan says

    August 14, 2014 at 5:41 am

    I was thinking of including a picture of my house to go along with my membership, but then i was afraid the board of health might find it. Totally sign me up!!!!!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:17 am

      You are absolutely in, Kathy! xoxo

  9. Pattie says

    August 14, 2014 at 5:50 am

    Where were you even 10 years ago? However, I think these very basic, yet fantastic rules can be applied to a club for Moms with grown kids. We are still moms but we have different issues with our adult kids. But #1, it always applies, as does any rule that includes alcohol.

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:18 am

      I 10000% agree with you on all of those points.

  10. Stephanie says

    August 14, 2014 at 6:17 am

    Count me in! I am so sick of unwanted advice and judgement! This club sounds awesome!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:18 am

      You’re in!

  11. Tove Stakkestad says

    August 14, 2014 at 6:25 am

    I throw my hands up in the air… me me me… I am SO there!!! Celebrating the non-holidays… I am OVER IT! We are not Irish…. so my kids looked at me like I was a bad mom because their milk was WHITE on St. Patrick’s Day!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:19 am

      Okay, I will admit to putting green food coloring in the toilet. But green pee is just funny. And only takes me a few seconds. That’s all the time I have.

  12. Amy says

    August 14, 2014 at 6:43 am

    you know I’m in!!!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:20 am

      I sure do!!

  13. qwertygirl says

    August 14, 2014 at 6:53 am

    I admit I’m guilty of #5. But it’s not because I’m a show off holier-than-thou asshole, it’s because I’m a spineless idiot who can’t say no. But I am SO WITH YOU on 6 and 7. Stop with the fucking everything holiday. When you have a Pinterest board called Ideas for Columbus Day, it’s time for an intervention. And for 7, please for the love of god, yes, warn me about letting your ten year old have an iPhone, because I really don’t want to hear three months of whining that, “Conner got one.” Fine, ask Connor’s mom if she’d like to buy you one, too, because I can’t afford one right now.

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:20 am

      I’ll allow that. As long as you make time for the “meetings.”

  14. Smargie says

    August 14, 2014 at 6:59 am

    I’d like to apply for membership to this exclusive club if you’d be so kind to consider me. I hardly ever clean my house anyway, but will admit upfront that I do try to make at least part of the coffee table surface visible and may also use one disposable wipe on the downstairs bathroom in a mad frenzy before people come over. As long as I can do some private judging (c’mon, no one can give that up completely if we’re being honest!), this is a club I’d love to be a member of. Like Pattie, I wish this opportunity were available sooner– where were you, Foxy, when my kids were younger–instead of the young teens they are now? You would have saved my sanity!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:30 am

      Heck, Smargie, you already knew you were in. And, yes, I need your coffee table clear so it can hold drinks and snacks. xoxo

  15. Beth says

    August 14, 2014 at 7:33 am

    Genius…pure genius;)

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 11:30 am

      Thank you. *runs off to show the teacher who gave me a C in college*

  16. Louisa says

    August 14, 2014 at 8:10 am

    I’m so in!!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      Hooray!!

  17. Tricia says

    August 14, 2014 at 8:30 am

    Amen I say! Let the toys lie! http://streamoftheconscious.com/go-clean-your-room-or-why-am-i-frantically-tidying-the-house-before-a-playdate/

    I’ll bring the Irish Coffee to the next meeting. (Have Keurig, will use. Also, whiskey.)

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      LET THE TOYS LIE! And, yes. Also, yes.

  18. Kristina Walters @ Kris On Fitness says

    August 14, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Count me in!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      I knew I could count on you! xo

  19. Parri (Her Royal Thighness) says

    August 14, 2014 at 10:07 am

    I WANT IN!!!

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      Of course you’re in. You’re in charge of entertainment. xoxo

  20. Christine Steendam says

    August 14, 2014 at 10:54 am

    I think I’m going to have to print these rules and hang them for all my mom-friends to see 🙂

    • Foxy says

      September 13, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      Yes, please. I’ll give you some Foxy Wine Pocket stickers to pass out too. xo

  21. Stacey @NurseMommyLaughs says

    August 14, 2014 at 11:02 am

    This is insanely brilliant. Where do I send my dues?

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 9:51 pm

      Just bring your snacks and/or beverages to the next meeting. Can’t wait! xo

  22. Liz says

    August 14, 2014 at 11:49 am

    Perfect! Professional development? I like it.

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 9:55 pm

      Professional development is very important. Very. Important.

  23. Howard Phillips says

    August 14, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Ok, I’m a retired dad (kids now 31 and 36). I had to be mom as well for quite a while when they were young.
    I absolutely love the club rules. May I join?
    Howard

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 9:56 pm

      Absolutely. But, seeing as though your kids are out of the house, I’m going to have to assign you extra baking duties. Sound good?

  24. Kristen Mae of Abandoning Pretense says

    August 14, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    I’m in!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      Perfect! What’s your poison?

  25. Heather says

    August 14, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    oh MAN, am I IN!!! 😀

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      I am so glad to hear that!

  26. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    August 14, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    I’m in!!!!!!!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 9:59 pm

      Perfect! Our annual convention is in Baltimore. Does that work with your schedule?

  27. Sarah says

    August 14, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    You had me from hello! I’m all in and will bring wine!!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 9:59 pm

      Fabulous. But what are you drinking? 😉

  28. Sarah (est. 1975) says

    August 14, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Are you saying I have to be…. NON-JUDGMENTAL?? *gasp*

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      Well, what you and I do over text doesn’t count toward Mom Club. 😉

  29. Jana says

    August 14, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    I gave up celebrating holidays a long time ago…with the exception of Christmas. In the “Great Purge” of 2014 after the hubs left, I donated a CRAPLOAD of holiday decorations to Goodwill. Some other sucker can spend hours decorating and then putting things away. I graduated from the Mom’s Club quite a while ago – but that’s OK, because now I’m in the Grandma’s Club – and we have totally different rules. I think you have inspired a blog post, m’dear!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      You HAVE to report back with the Grandma’s Club Rules. Although, I’ve seen you around. So I’ll still hang out with you at Mom Club.

  30. Linda Roy - elleroy was here says

    August 15, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    I’m right there with ya! I’ll bring the chardonnay to the next “meeting”.

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      Wonderful! I’ll bring the Pinot Noir.

  31. Deva Dalporto says

    August 15, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    I’m in! Love it!!!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      Fabulous! You’re in charge of music and entertainment.

  32. Dalai Mama says

    August 16, 2014 at 6:48 am

    This is brilliant! I’m in! You had me at no cleaning! Cleaning is my arch nemesis.

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:03 pm

      I really, really, really, REALLY hate cleaning. And welcome!

  33. Mary Widdicks says

    August 18, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    Sign me up!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      Hooray! I’ll get your signature (in blood) next June! xoxo

  34. Lisa Newlin says

    August 18, 2014 at 10:32 pm

    I’m not a mom but I totally do the meeting one. My two closest friends are sorority sisters so instead of saying we’re going to hang out, we call it out “chapter meeting.” It’s perfect.

    I also put my hair appointment on my work calendar as a doctor’s appointment. I mean, she’s totally a professional!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:26 pm

      Oh you, Lisa? You’re totally in. The dogs count. Plus all of your actions described here.

  35. Jeannette says

    August 22, 2014 at 6:37 am

    I would get kicked out for 1 and 6. 1 my ocd is way too severe to leave my house unclean but I don’t care about others homes. 6 I love doing crafts and meals for those lesser holidays.

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:31 pm

      Here’s the thing–as long as you don’t judge my house I’m good. Also, just don’t tell my kids about the crafts. Or, even better, host my kids at YOUR house to do the crafts. Then you’re good.

  36. Katie says

    September 19, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    I wanna join…. I’ll bring the cheeze its!!!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:32 pm

      Oh man. I LOOOOOOOVE cheeze its–especially immediately after the bag is opened. You’re in!

  37. Ingrid Fehr says

    September 19, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    I am so in!!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:32 pm

      That makes me very happy to hear!

  38. Jamie Ulrich says

    September 19, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    This is pure genius!!!

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      Clearly you’re smart enough to be a member! xo

  39. Kim says

    September 19, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    Can us non-moms join too? I hate cleaning and I won’t judge anybody. Unless of course you’re a total asshat that is. I’ll bring wine. Lots of wine.

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      You’ve got cats. Those little assholes count too. 😉 You’re in.

  40. Heather says

    September 19, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    I’m pretty sure I meet the requirements, other than the wine… Sadly, I can only handle a small glass because of interactions with meds, but, I’d totally be happy to bring coffee or sugared drinks, cause let’s face it, I have to have something to drink to pretend I can stand the judging, snotty, stuck up moms that live around me, wearing their husbands military rank on their sleeves and telling me, for the one hundredth time, how to clean, cook, raise kids, please my husband, or get him promoted. I’d love to be a member of a group that doesn’t give a rat’s behind about any of that crap. I feed my kid, make sure he’s not naked and can’t be smelled from a mile away… I’m doing something right, aren’t I?

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:48 pm

      You’re doing everything right. And you don’t need to drink alcohol. Coffee, water, sugared drinks–they’re all welcome. As are you!

  41. Suzanne Edwards says

    September 19, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    I’m in only if I can show up in old yoga pants, a top but not wearing a bra…..

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:49 pm

      I think that’s our dress code, really.

  42. Jenn says

    September 19, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    Oh, me me me. I’m so over judgmental moms and I’m slowly backing away from all but the minimum PTO stuff. And the best I do for quasi-holidays are store bought baked goods.

    Can I play? I’ll bring the vodka….

    • Foxy says

      September 19, 2014 at 10:50 pm

      Yes, you can absolutely play. And I like vodka.

  43. Maudie says

    September 20, 2014 at 1:14 am

    Sounds wonderful! Please may I join? I will bring wine and tea, and my blanket with sleeves that I hide under when the kids have gone to bed as it’s a bit like getting a hug. Is that ok? 😉

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:00 pm

      Yes, please, Maudie. You sound perfect.

  44. Jane says

    September 20, 2014 at 3:08 am

    I think I should be President of your Australian Chapter if there isn’t one already. I love wine and hate cleaning what more is there to know?!!!

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:00 pm

      There’s nothing more to know. You’re in.

  45. Ahmee says

    September 20, 2014 at 5:29 am

    For my chapter, if I am granted membership, we need to add another rule. No over doing it on school breaks. If you go to Disney yearly, constantly take your kids to discovery museums, or to six flags to entertain them…you’re out. Unless you take my kids with you and don’t expect me to recipicate, then you can stay. I don’t have the money, time or energy to constantly “take” my kids somewhere for entertainment and enrichment. Go play outside and discover something on your own to entertain yourself!

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:01 pm

      Oh, Ahmee, I may just have to add that to the entire organization’s rules. Very nice addition.

  46. Karen McLean says

    September 20, 2014 at 7:00 am

    I need to join to keep my sanity! I seem to not be fitting in with the other moms because I’m weird. I think they are too PG 13 for me. I like to swear, I like fantasy romance novels and sci fi and fantasy TV shows, and I don’t craft. And I take pole dancing lessons.

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:01 pm

      Karen, you’re in. But you need to teach the pole dancing class for us. Okay?

  47. Liv says

    September 20, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    11 – what happens in moms club stays in moms club.

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      YES.

  48. laurie free says

    September 20, 2014 at 6:45 pm

    Yes I agree. I’m so over judgemental parenting blogs. !!! and #14

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      So over it.

  49. laurie free says

    September 20, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    thanks so much agreed so tired of judgemental mommy Bloggers. and self righteous parental advice
    one more.
    if your kids like spinach green smoothies that’s a miracle. and anomaly. it’s not a reason to blog or give advice.
    nor is “cutting sugar out of our family’s diet ” for a year.

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:03 pm

      Yep. That one too.

  50. Amy Flory - Funny Is Family says

    September 21, 2014 at 5:24 am

    Is the position of Bloody Mary Mixer still available? Is our first meeting this morning? Please say yes.

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:03 pm

      Yes, yes, YES, Amy!!

  51. Kristine Goodman says

    September 22, 2014 at 9:17 am

    WOW! This is just up my alley. I think I will start a Grandmother’s Club! Our first event will be a girls trip to Napa Valley. I hear you can get some great wine, cheap, there!!

    • Foxy says

      October 9, 2014 at 8:04 pm

      Hopefully I have 20 more years before I can join your club, but I’m absolutely applying for membership!

  52. Mama Minx says

    November 15, 2014 at 7:54 am

    As a mom of 6 boys, I couldn’t agree more!

  53. Auntie Stina says

    January 19, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    I NEED this club. I don’t even decorate for real holidays. In fact, our kids got tired of waiting for us to put up the crappy fake tree and they did it themselves.
    To be fair, I did set up the nativity set. And it’s still there.
    I don’t drink alcohol–it putstme to sleep and I don’t need help with that! I won’t judge those that do, though!

  54. Kristen says

    January 28, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    I’m the baking mom. I can’t help it. I read and I bake. Unfortunately, it is too old fashioned. I am not gluten free, chocolate free, sugar free, or paleo. I’d love to bake for meetings. So many treats go with adult beverages!

  55. Lara says

    January 28, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    I’m in!! Where do I sign up??

  56. glenda says

    January 28, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Love it! I think I could follow those rules 😉

  57. john says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    I started to feel left out and saw the PS at the end. I am all over joining up in this one! I will bring my favorite bottle of malbec and a bottle of scotch. Judgy McJudgersons and overcompetitive people I want to punch in the throat (totally stolen from jen). And you need a safe place to say 4 letter words (sometimes regarding your children or situations they create) without other parents looking at you funny.

  58. Carpool Goddess says

    January 28, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    I’m in! Where do I bring the wine?

  59. m says

    February 7, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    I am part of a Moms Club. We refer to our meetings as “safety meetings”, they are a monthly requirement for the saftey of all husbands and children in our community.
    Great post!

  60. Lizl says

    March 29, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Just a note to say thank you. I’m far away in South Africa and it seems judging etc is a world epidemic. Your post just gave me the lift of the month!! We have some girls struggling with things like depression, bipolar and anxiety and a club like this would be good even without the kids thrown in. Thank you

  61. Opah says

    July 3, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Pick me, pick me, for the love of my sanity pick me. Let’s go to an adult beverage meeting and discuss the business at hand.

  62. McCall Humes says

    July 3, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    Are we grandfathered in if we already live by the code?

  63. Robin Bobo says

    July 3, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    Count me in!! (if it’s ok to have bigger kids that is!)

  64. Darla Halyk says

    July 3, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    YES YES YES, I am in for this Mom Club!

Trackbacks

  1. Mom Club | Not-so-Super-Momma says:
    September 5, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    […] the Mom Club concept. But I can tell you that I’ve found my soul sister after reading this brilliant blog. And, I can definitively tell you that I meet all 10 criteria on that list. I can also tell you […]

  2. The Lazy Mom's Guide to St. Patrick's Day - Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    March 16, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    […] this mom. No, this mom is a very lazy busy mom, and I’ve perfected celebrating this non-holiday holiday by making the day just special enough for my children but not going insane in the process. […]

  3. Foxy Favorites | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    May 11, 2016 at 8:44 am

    […] 10 Rules of Mom Club […]

  4. Follow Your Dreams and Fuck the Haters | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    July 28, 2016 at 4:02 am

    […] like-minded people and become a support group for each other. Lift each other up. There is plenty of room for all of us to succeed; there is no […]

Follow Me!

  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to Foxy Wine Pocket and receive new posts by email—tiny presents delivered straight to your Inbox.

Best of Foxy Wine Pocket

  • My First (and Last) Brazilian
  • The Pooping Tree
  • What Women Think About Blowjobs
  • Why I Should (Not?) Teach Sex Ed
  • Motherhood Is Disgusting
  • Rules of Swearing for My Children

Search for Previous Posts

Recent Posts

  • Bless the Baby, but Fuck All the Fluids
  • Beware of Killer Tampons
  • The Perfect Wife
  • I Do NOT Recommend This Diet Plan
  • How Do You Make a Clown Nativity Set Even More Awesome?

Archives

Copyright © 2022 · Foxy Wine Pocket · All rights reserved · Privacy Policy

Tweet
Close

Buy me a drink?

A ridiculous amount of coffee and booze is consumed in the process of writing these stories. Add some fuel if you'd like to keep me going!

 

Subscribe to Foxy Wine Pocket!

Enter your email address to subscribe to Foxy Wine Pocket and receive new posts by email—tiny presents delivered straight to your Inbox.

×