I Am a Google Search Ninja

I Am a Google Search Ninja @foxywinepocket #johnwaters #thinmustache

My friend Birdie and I were recently eating dinner in a neighborhood restaurant. Over wine and appetizers, we noticed the man at the table next to us. Both of us kept stealing glances, but we tried to stay cool. After all, we didn’t want to appear rude.

With hushed voices, we chatted about him.

Birdie: Umm, don’t we know him?
Me: Yes, we do. Dammit. What’s his name?
Birdie: I can’t remember. But he was in that movie. You know, the one.
Me: Yeah, that one. Dammit. WHAT’S HIS NAME?!
Birdie: I can’t remember.
Me: Hold on. I’m on it.

I got out my phone, did a quick google search, and proudly proclaimed, “I GOT HIM.” Maybe a little too loudly. I showed Birdie my phone.

Birdie: That’s right! That’s him!
Me: Come sit by me. We need to get a picture of this.
Birdie: But we need to be discreet.
Me: I’ve got this covered.

So yeah. We totally had dinner with John Waters.
So yeah. We totally had dinner with John Waters.

P.S. I googled “bald actor with thin mustache old” and our pal’s name and picture came right up. Sorry John.

P.P.S. I could use some of the same search terms on myself.

P.P.P.S. If he noticed us (and how could he not?!), he played it very cool. He seemed like a really nice guy spending time with his really nice friends. Seriously.

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29 Responses

  1. Holy crap I never realized how uber-creepy that guy was until I looked him up. Thanks for scaring the pee out of me

  2. Isn’t Google the greatest? All the information in the world, right at our fingertips. When my son asks some kind of crazy question like “how far is the moon?” I can just say “why don’t you google it?” instead of admitting “I don’t know”. Beautimous.

  3. Hahahaha, I still don’t know who John Waters is, but I’m glad he’s a nice guy (seemingly so).

    I met Sean Astin once and couldn’t for the life of me remember his name until he walked away from me and it came to me that he was in Goonies. He’d been in many movies since then to, apparently, like Rudy and Lord of the Rings, but whatever. I didn’t have the luxury of Google so I had to relay on my beer addled brain cells search engine. It’s intermittently useful still.

  4. Excellent work, Foxy! Love your search terms (and thank God for Google now that so many things are no longer even at the tip of our tongues anymore).

  5. I don’t know who John Waters is, but I agree you are a Google search ninja.

    Once we happened to sit at a restaurant, that was otherwise near empty, near Matthew Fox, who was my mom’s favorite actor from Lost. She and my kids were very excited to be in the presence of a celebrity at first, but we could clearly overhear his conversation… nothing my kids haven’t heard from me, mind you, but not in this concentrated form. His vocabulary was littered with profanity. My four year old remarked that he had an “angry voice.”

    We decided against asking for an autograph.

    1. HAHAHAHA! I mean, that’s not funny, but it is really funny. John used his friendly, happy voice. But I still didn’t ask for an autograph either.

    1. It looks like the results have changed a bit since I entered those terms. His face, name, and bio came right up for me that night.

  6. My teenager asked me once what the heck we did before Google. I had to explain the concept of encyclopedias to her, which admittedly wouldn’t have helped at ALL in this situation. 🙂

    1. I can still feel the texture of the Encyclopedia Britannica books from my childhood. I used to spend hours reading those.

    1. This totally beats the time I stood in line behind the grandpa from Gimme a Break in a sporting goods store in Carmel. Right?

  7. Geez…I’ve seen him before but never would have known his name either. I always call the phone my peripheral brain. Powered by Google.

  8. AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I only just got around to reading this today aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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