Sometimes I worry about my son Colin. I worry because he tends to play by himself rather than join in group play. I worry because he has little to no interest in extracurricular activities. I worry because he can be socially awkward and brutally honest. Mostly I delight in his quirkiness, but sometimes I worry about him. Because I’m his mom, and that’s what I do.
Colin put my mind at ease the other day. He’s normal. A perfectly normal 8-year-old boy. How do I know?
Well, apparently he texted* his friend a picture of his poop. His poop that was in the toilet bowl.
Of course he didn’t tell me about this text. I found out from his friend’s mom during a breakfast date meeting.
Michelle: “Uh, you know Colin texted my son a picture of his poop, right?”
Me (spitting out my mimosa coffee): “WHAT?! No. I didn’t know that.”
*momentary pause while we both die laughing*
Michelle: “Yep. He did. You know how I found out?”
Me: “How?”
Michelle: “Well, my son printed the picture ten times and hung them around the house.”
Me: *dying*
Michelle: “Yeah, my husband found one on his pillow when he was going to bed.”
Me: *on the floor peeing my pants*
Once I regained my composure, I replied, “I guess I should talk to him about that.”
And I did. Because even though I am relieved that he is doing normal things that normal boys do, this particular action warranted a discussion. He didn’t get in trouble, but we talked about appropriate use of technology and how things you send to other people can end up in places you didn’t intend (like on the pillow of your friend’s dad). Nothing bad happened in this case (unless you count the extra laundry I had to do from peeing my pants), but it was a perfect opportunity to have a meaningful discussion with my son.
Colin: “You still thought it was funny, right?”
Me: “It was poop. Of course I did.”
You can’t make this shit up. (See what I did there?)
*It’s an iPod touch with iMessage, not a phone.
53 Responses
What?! You’re not going to let us enjoy the full glory of that poop picture?
Colin cracks me up, hardcore.
Believe me, I thought about it. But probably enough people have seen it. 🙂
OH DEAR GOD. You and Colin both slay me. lol
I should probably start paying him in something other than peanut-butter toast and Legos.
Ewwwwwwwww. Thanks for tastefully covering up the actual subject matter. Much appreciated.
What? You didn’t want to print it out and post it all over your house?
Not gonna lie…I love your son a little bit..
My heart swelled a bit when I found out about it. 🙂
Oh my god, hysterical. WHAT is their obsession with all things bathroom-related? I have four and if we go twenty minutes without hearing a bodily function word, I start hunting for the thermometer to take everyone’s temperature.
I can’t decide what is funnier: that my son sent the picture or that his friend posted it all around his house. Boys…
I’m super glad that the other mama wasn’t a biatch about the whole thing…and I just need to add that shit just got real.
I was too. Luckily Michelle has a great sense of humor. Yes, shit got real. 🙂
Hilarious!!!
Thanks! And thanks for sharing! xoxo
That is hilarious. And his friend printed it?!? Oh my goodness, I’d have had laundry to do too!!
I know! That part absolutely killed me. It was all over their house.
Colin should SO have his own show! I swear, he’d be the biggest hit of the season!!
You’re gonna help me with the pitch, right?
Bwahahahaha!
Yes. Exactly that.
Holy shit (no pun intended!)!!That fucking hilarious! My one son I know did that and my husband, well, lets just say he should have been a photographer. 🙂
I seriously died laughing.
I could not love this more. Thank you for sharing it and thank you for editing the photo because I have never seen poop before and it would have offended me.
[sarcasm]
I don’t get it. [also sarcasm]
That is hilarious! My husband did the same thing when my son took a huge poop. He snapped a photo and texted it to all of his friends. One even kept a copy on his phone to show co-workers.
Poop, funny at any age.
It really is.
Is it weird that my husband still snaps his own poop and texts me pictures, together with its rating on the Bristol Stool Chart? Cause he does that. No matter how many TIMES I told him NOT TO.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. I might be on your husband’s side here. 😉
GUYS. GUYS.
I got to see the ORIGINAL picture.
*preens*
I’m glad you took that as a compliment. 😉
Sometimes I think my husband would do that to me if we didn’t live together. I think this is the beginning of a long history of poop pics.
Yep. I think you’re right.
We had a poop issue just last week and I thought…nah…shouldn’t blog about it so soon after the Poodini scandal. I may need to rethink.
Definitely blog about it. I want to read it!
Its a guy thing. Proud of our poop. My boys used to ask for me to come and look at there’s and ask if it was a big boy poop. Damn…. I miss those days. Awesome story tho….just awesome
It’s possible the girls in our family do the same thing…
How in the world did I ever miss this post??!
I swear our boys would get along famously!!
Some day they will meet. I’m sure of it!
I just found you’re blog and I’ve spent the last 30 minites reading pasts posts and I haven’t stopped laughing 🙂
You’re the best, Brooke. I’m glad you found my blog too. I hope to keep you laughing. xoxo
I just found your blog because this post was on my Facebook feed. I’m crying I’m laughing so hard. I swear I would have fallen over iit were me.
This completely cheered me up. Seriously. I am having a very stressful day and it was like a weight was lifted off me. Final note, poop is always funny, just ask my 4 and 6 year old daughters.
I have to admit…I live with my 14 year old daughter, and when I make a really good one, I call her in to observe my impressive work! I do have issues, so when I do go, it’s a Big Deal and when I go BIG, I’m so proud of myself, I can’t not share! As the mother of a teenage girl, I put up with more than enough of her p00p and it isn’t even contained to the toilet that it just kind of evens things out, just a little.
No poop pics from my ten year old….yet! However, he’s in love with the poop emoji
L.M.A.O.!!!
If it makes you feel any better, my 15yo did it with his friend just the other day. I heard them laughing hysterically, yelling OMG LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING! (Yes, they text one another from inside the house. The same house. Sometimes the same room. *sigh*)
I was rather relieved, actually, to find out it was a foot-long in the bowl.
#Boys!
PS As to the phone, pft whatever! My kids both got theirs when they entered middle school, because they were allowed to walk down to my husband’s store and spend the afternoon with him. The neighborhood is in a business district- fairly safe, but you never know. So they had phones.
For those who live in town, a lot of people get their kiddos phones as young as 7 or 8 years old. It’s really a matter of each family doing what’s right for them! Anyone who judges you on giving your kiddo tech is a twat. You’re the mom, and it’s the kind of decision you can be trusted to make without the input of the internet! <3
Many a cell phone left unattended in a Fire Station has the picture of someone’s DNA left on it…men never grow tired of poop jokes…
P.S. The perfect poop is as rare as a four leaf clover, twice around the bowl and pointy at both ends…oink.
and you must be very proud that grandma’s “inappropriate” humor is now passed on to a 3rd generation. that is good parenting right there *wipes tear*
I’m backed up to drop a bomb or float s log of wisdom in this crackpot situation. I just have to squeeze out this pile of advice, don’t be a laxative to your son’s weak stacked moments.
I’ll show myself out the back door.
Hang on a sec. How old is his friend? My 8yo boy can just about work the dvd player. Can’t imagine what he’d do if faced with a photocopier or an IPod Touch! But I’ll be standing right behind him when he does after reading this lol! [She shuffled off dragging her dinosaur tail behind her…]
that’s epic! Did you save a copy?? Oh the things my teen could be ‘motivated’ to do if I had that sort of shit to motivate him with….
*goes off to check photos on children’s Ipods*
Well I sure do wish I was an 8 year old boy right about now. I’ve taken so many huge dumps and wanted to send them, but was too nervous that adults wouldn’t “get it”. Now I’m jealous.
My 30 year old mate still sends me pics like this, it’s kind of lost its humor now… If my 8 year old nephew did it, I’d probably post it on facebook and then make his mum tell him off.
Haha kids can be so weird, which is what I love about them! I am however afraid for them to have access to smartphones when they are older as it is so easy to send pictures and information to anyone. Super scary!!