So it was Penis Week last week on the blog. I swear I didn’t do that intentionally, but that’s how these things go sometimes. (My subconscious must be telling me something.) I talked about circumcision decisions and blowjobs and nuts. (And I told a lot of penis jokes.)
But, frankly, Penis Week brought out some dicks. I’m not going to name any names or point any fingers, but some unsavory behavior has occurred on and around my blog. People, you need to understand: this blog is my happy place. I want to laugh here. I want to make dick jokes. I want you to laugh here and make dick jokes.
Like many of you, I’ve been in some rough places, and I’ve seen some bad, bad shit. I’ve talked about some of those losses and struggles before, and I’ll most certainly talk more about them. But here—here on this blog—it’s my happy place. And I want it to stay that way. So I thought it would be a good time to set some of Foxy’s rules.
- First and foremost: don’t be a dick. Don’t harass other commenters. Don’t say mean things. While you are absolutely entitled to your opinion, this is my blog, and I’m entitled to delete your opinion if you’re being a dick.
- Don’t take me too seriously. I don’t. I mean, I call myself FOXY, people. This is a humor blog; it’s for humor. I use heavy sarcasm. I exaggerate, twist, and skew.
- Don’t steal my shit. It’s mine. I own it under federal copyright laws, and I’ve got lawyers in my family. If I have to, I’ll call in that favor from the relatives I really don’t want to talk to.
- Don’t drink and drive. And don’t hurt people. Or animals. Okay, just don’t be a dick.
- Enjoy a beverage while reading this blog. I love to hear that you spit out your drink because of something I’ve said.
- Make dick jokes. I love dick jokes.
- Leave comments when you want. I love reading your reactions and your stories. I love the conversations we have.
- Say something nice to someone.
- Share me with your friends. Tell them to follow me on Facebook and Twitter. The more the merrier.
- Send me lyrics so Mr. Foxy can make more songs. Seriously. We’ve got one coming from est.1975 very soon.
Thankfully most of you naturally follow these rules. I love you guys. I really do.