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I’m Taking Back Thanksgiving

By Foxy

I'm Taking Back Thanksgiving @foxywinepocket #takingbackthanksgiving #porkeverywhere

I readily admit to hating all of the artificially-flavored pumpkin crap that assaults my senses before, during, and after Thanksgiving. I also roll my eyes at some of the “I’m thankful for…” posts on Facebook (not yours, of course). But, honestly, I love the Thanksgiving holiday itself. LOVE. IT. It is—by far—my favorite holiday. I get to sit around with people that I adore (and some other people too), eat delicious food, and drink too much wine. (And then drink some more wine.) All of this while being thankful for loved ones, food, and wine. I mean, really, what’s not to love about this holiday?

Unfortunately, most retailers across America would like to bypass the Thanksgiving holiday altogether and go straight to Christmas. As if Black Friday wasn’t bad enough (what happened to a day of rest after being so gluttonous drunk gassy thankful?), far, FAR too many stores are now opening on Thanksgiving itself. Really?! Can’t we all agree to not shop for just one day so everyone can take a day, or at least a moment, off to be thankful? Joining the retailers, my kids hate the Thanksgiving holiday as well. I suspect it’s because they’re picky-as-shit eaters, and they don’t get any presents like the “good” holidays.

Well, fuck ‘em. Fuck ’em all. I’m taking back Thanksgiving. I’m taking it by the balls, and we’re going to celebrate it ferociously. In order to do this, I have come up with a three-part strategy. It includes:

  • Fabulous Thanksgiving Decorations
  • A Special Thanksgiving Menu
  • Beautiful Thanksgiving Carols

The Decorations

I find Thanksgiving decorations so incredibly ugly. (That really means that I couldn’t find any because Target doesn’t sell them anymore.) My favorite decorations are the cute art projects my kids have made in school over the years. So I plaster those all over my kitchen. Here’s one of my favorites from my daughter:

(She doesn’t eat meat anymore—except for bacon. GASP!)

(She doesn’t eat meat anymore—except for bacon. GASP!)

I also have some special decorations that I’ve made myself, and I’d like to share them with you for inspiration.  Since cranberries are so special for the holiday, I keep this beauty out all month long.

Can't find Thanksgiving decorations? Make your own. @foxywinepocket #thanksgivingdecorations #takingbackthanksgiving

I mean, how much better can this get? I’ve put the kids’ art projects to good use, and this particular art installation is interactive. INTERACTIVE, folks!

Next, we celebrate the turkey—the delicious, delicious turkey.

Thanksgiving decorations. This is how you do it. @foxywinepocket #takingbackthanksgiving

Unfortunately, I have to take down that particular decoration when I actually start cooking, but then I just wear the turkey on my head. BAM! A mobile art installation. I’m an artistic genius!

The Menu

Speaking of turkey, that brings me to my special Thanksgiving menu. Food is, after all, one of the focal points of this holiday. How do I make Thanksgiving dinner even better? Include the magical pig, of course. I pride myself that every single dish I make—every one of them—includes a pork product. Here’s a list of what I’ll be serving. I’ve even included links to the recipes (where applicable):

  • Roasted Turkey with Bacon-Cider Gravy (Bonus: Once you complete the bacon-roasting-over-the-top-of-the-bird part of the recipe, you have Bacon Appetizers!)
  • Ciabatta Stuffing with Chestnuts, Mushrooms and Pancetta (I use pecans instead of chestnuts, even though the word “chest – nut” makes me giggle. Every. Time.)
  • Baked Mashed Potatoes with Pancetta, Parmesan Cheese, and Breadcrumbs (The beauty of this dish is that I don’t have to mash and whip potatoes when I’m too drunk to do it without getting potatoes all over the walls and cabinets it’s time to carve the turkey.)
  • Green Beans with Bacon Vinaigrette (Ain’t no reason for the veggies to miss out on the pork paradise.)
  • Caesar Salad with Pancetta Flakes (or any meat sprinkle, really)

I don’t actually eat dessert (I drink it, natch), but I offer a bacon-bourbon caramel sauce to slather over the desserts I serve. I use a very simple recipe and put in meat sprinkles at the end. It’s versatile and delicious.

The Songs

Finally, I used my extraordinarily bad poetry skills to create some very special Thanksgiving carols to enjoy throughout the entire Thanksgiving season. I even got Mr. Foxy and the kids to sing them in a special Thanksgiving medley. (Okay, I totally had to pay the kids to do this so I’m out $20 bucks.)

Have a listen. (Lyrics are at the end of the article.)

 

However you decorate (or don’t), whatever you cook (or eat), whatever you sing (or listen to), do join me in taking the time to actually celebrate Thanksgiving. Pause for a moment and be thankful for all of your blessings—whatever they are. I know I am.

Joy to the World

Joy to the World!
The turkey's done!
Let all the eaters eat!
Let every mouth receive it’s food.
And tummies and tastebuds sing.
And tummies and tastebuds sing.
And tummies and tummies and tastebuds sing.
Eat All Night

Well the weather outside is frightful,
But the stuffing’s so delightful.
Even though our pants will be tight,
Eat all night, eat all night, eat all night!
Oh Turkey Leg

Oh turkey leg, oh turkey leg,
You have a built-in handle.
Oh turkey leg, oh turkey leg,
You have a built-in handle.

Your meat is dark and juicy.
Your skin so light and crispy.
Oh turkey leg, oh turkey leg,
You have a built-in handle.
Dinner Bells

Dinner bells, turkey smells,
Stuffing looks so great.
I drank too much while cooking
So dinner will be late!

Dinner bells, turkey smells,
Stuffing looks so great.
I drank too much while cooking
So dinner will be late!
Oh Pumpkin Pie

Oh pumpkin pie
Your taste is so delightful.
It is the best of Thanksgiving time.
Long last the whipping cream and caramel topping.
I need some more to cover all the pie.
The thrill of dessert all my peeps rejoicing,
When pie is gone then we are so sad.
Bonus Track

Mashed Potatoes

Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes,
Mashed potatoes on my plate.
Topped with butter and with gravy,
I just love you; you’re so great.



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Filed Under: Holidaze & Fancy Ways, The Foxy Pockets

Comments

  1. Stacey @ Nurse Mommy Laughs says

    November 21, 2013 at 7:44 am

    I can’t tell you how thankful you are as big of a dork as I am!! I totally loved the songs and can’t believe you only had to pay $20. You got off easy. But I must say I hollered out loud with your cranberry and vodka decorations. I might have to do that on the table this year. Friggin’ hilarious!!!!

    • Foxy says

      November 21, 2013 at 11:50 am

      We need a party–complete with cranberry and vodka decorations–to celebrate our dorkiness. BTW, did you hear Colin “singing” in the songs? Do you still want him to marry your youngest?

  2. RageMichelle says

    November 22, 2013 at 4:15 am

    I love this!!!

    I am also not a fan of ‘pumpkin spice everything’ GAH.

    I love Thanksgiving in theory…but I always just end up really tired. There will be 22 people here this year. I’m a masochist.

    • Foxy says

      November 22, 2013 at 4:31 pm

      Thanks! And 22 is a lot of people. I hope you’ve got plenty of wine. And vodka. Wishing you the best!

  3. One Funny Motha says

    November 22, 2013 at 5:57 am

    I LOVE the poem your daughter wrote. I think you all should recite it every Thanksgiving before the meal. Also heart the interactive art installation. And where can I get that turkey in the pot? That.Is.Awesome. I’m pinning all this shit.

    I love the turkey leg handle bit, but how come I didn’t hear you singing on your CD? Or maybe you sound like a kid? And is your husband a DJ or TV personality?

    • Foxy says

      November 22, 2013 at 4:38 pm

      Thank you! And thank you! I got the turkey hat at Target–you know, when they used to sell Thanksgiving decorations. Since I can’t wear it everyday (not because I care about my appearance; it just gets too hot), I put it in my red pot. BAM!

      I’m singing, but Dan turned my track WAY down low. He wanted to make sure people would still listen. And you just made his year–he’s not a DJ or TV personality, but he is a musician. And a bit of a cheese-ball.

  4. Michelle says

    November 1, 2014 at 5:13 am

    I LOVE Thanksgiving and everything that goes along with it…although, on the actual day, I’m usually too tired to enjoy it.

    I decorated for Thanksgiving once, brown and yellow and orange streamers everywhere. There was a torn corner of a streamer that stayed attached to my wall for well over a year. In case you were wondering about my house cleaning skills.

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 9:57 am

      I’ve got a pretty good system so I don’t get tired on the actual day. But I had a piece of blue painter’s tape on my ceiling for close to two years.

  5. Kristine says

    November 1, 2014 at 5:26 am

    Can you add this one to your celebration? Tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Enjoy your Thanksgiving. We finished ours a month ago and I wish we had had these songs then.
    (As soon as I figure out how, I will pin your decorations. Are you sure you are not Martha Stewart?).

    Hark the turkey is a cooking
    Come and drink the kitchen wine
    Put the stuffing in a pot now
    Cook it ’till it’s most Devine

    Bring the cranberry and the vodka
    Bring the wine and the port too
    Think of all that makes you thankful
    Join us, we will wait for you

    Give us back out joyous holiday
    Give us back our day of rest
    Stop the shopping madness really
    It can wait ’till we digest

    Open up those pants for room now
    Turn the lights down low for me
    I drank just a little much so
    Gravy up that dry turkey

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 9:58 am

      I’m gonna see if Mr. Foxy has time to record this song for you. It’s pretty awesome.

  6. Elizabeth Siler says

    November 1, 2014 at 6:57 am

    LOVE that your serving platter is a pig, because I always make a hog of myself on Thanksgiving. You holiday decorations are wonderful. A decorated vodka bottle is GENIUS!! Now, I can keep mine on the counter all year and just change out the kids art work. Thanks for the idea!! Finally, pork in every dish …so glad that I have begun to follow a blogger. You speak my language.

    *** I am not a Halloween “fan”, so our decorations are fall themed. Lots of pumpkins, owls and leaves at our house.

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:00 am

      Too much food, vodka, and pork — I wish more people spoke our language. 😉 xoxo

  7. Katti says

    November 1, 2014 at 9:47 am

    I thought Thanksgiving always included pork … are you suggesting there are people out there that don’t use it in every recipe?? I’m almost positive (ok I was 5) there was a pork chop in the thanksgiving play. I myself was a blonde haired Indian but that is a whole other story….

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:01 am

      I’m downright shocked that more people don’t use pork in everything they cook. And I thinking I’m dressing up as a pork chop next year…

  8. Darcy Perdu (So Then Stories) says

    November 1, 2014 at 11:15 am

    I’m with you, baby! I’ve long tried to convince my friends and family that the Thanksgiving decoration market is an untapped gold mine! Let’s hire some graphic designers, create some killer decorations, and make MILLIONS — MILLIONS, I TELL YA!

    Seriously — Christmas and Hannukah are split between the religions; Halloween is mostly celebrated by families with kids — but EVERYONE celebrates Thanksgiving! (Well, Americans, anyway) If you’re in, just send me $50K seed money and I’ll get our Thanksgiving decor business up and running!!

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:02 am

      HAHAHAHA!! And “seed” money made me snicker too.

  9. Pattie says

    November 1, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    This is the perfect post about the perfect holiday. The Fox Family and the Bitter Family are on the same page with Thanksgiving. I hope that you and yours have a wonderful month preparing for the best holiday of the year. After Turn-The-Clocks-Back Day, I mean.

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Thank you! And Cheers to the Bitter Family! xoxo

  10. Margot says

    November 1, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T EAT DESSERT?!

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:29 am

      I know, right? It’s my anosmia. It made it so desserts just aren’t all that appealing anymore. Unless is a molten chocolate cake with salted caramel.

  11. Robin Bobo says

    November 2, 2014 at 5:37 am

    The Thanksgiving song I teach my first graders go like this…

    (to the tune of Did You Ever See a Lassie)
    Gobble, gobble, gobble…fat turkey fat turkey
    Gobble, gobble, gobble…fat turkey am I.
    I’m not here for living, I’m here for Thanksgiving.
    Gobble, gobble, gobble, fat turkey am I.

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:30 am

      LOL! I think my daughter would refuse to sing that song.

  12. Linda Roy - elleroy was here says

    November 3, 2014 at 5:48 am

    I am SO doing those cranberry vodka decorations. Loved the songs! Okay, villagers, get your torches – we’re taking back Thanksgiving! We start with the big box stores and work our way to the Christmas aisle at Target.

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:31 am

      YES! I’ll meet you in the parking lot with torches and vodka. I’m sure no police will be called.

  13. qwertygirl says

    November 3, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    My thing is I plan for Christmas starting in August (like, what to get for gifts, etc) so Thanksgiving is my day of not having to do anything about Christmas and getting to drink a bunch of wine break before Christmas starts in full force (when I drink a bunch more wine because I’m all festive ‘n’ shit).

    I did find myself wondering what a Pumpkin-Bacon Pie would taste like–just adding crumbled bacon to my usual pumpkin pie recipe (can of pumpkin + sweetened condensed milk + 2 eggs + pumpkin pie spice poured into a frozen crust and baked for 15 mins at 425, then 40 mins at 350). I bet it would be pretty tasty with some cooked bacon in it.

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:32 am

      Well, bacon DOES make everything better. I’ll forgive you for the Christmas craziness–because of the wine.

  14. Aussa Lorens says

    November 3, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    “Killing is what hunters do.”

    I love children.

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 10:32 am

      Nice, right?! And me too.

  15. Kathy Radigan says

    November 3, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    Love the songs and love the decor!!! Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday too, but I should admit that I do start listening to Christmas carols before Thanksgiving. I hope you still like me! Lol!

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 6:38 pm

      It’s okay. I still love you. Just tell me you listened to my Thanksgiving carols…

  16. Liz says

    November 3, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    “You have a built-in handle.” Love this line. And the menu sounds delicious. Thanksgiving’s my least favorite holiday but maybe that’s because I was neglecting bacon. Thanks for pointing the way!

    • Foxy says

      November 9, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      That line was all Mr. Foxy. He’s pretty clever–I think I’ll keep him around. And, yes, bacon makes everything magical and delicious.

  17. Snarkfest says

    November 6, 2015 at 4:00 am

    As a maker of songs for the bus, this post warms the cockles of my black heart.
    And bacon!!

  18. Parri says

    November 6, 2015 at 4:26 am

    I love the carols! Especially the one with the built-in handle. Passover songs, like “There’s no seder like our seder, like no seder I know” have caught on. I’m going to try to make yours go viral, too. Oh turkey leg, oh turkey leg …

Trackbacks

  1. Hey You! It’s Not Christmas Yet! | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    November 27, 2013 at 5:12 am

    […] Put down the string lights, people. Holster the credit cards. Step away from the wrapping paper. It’s not too late to take back Thanksgiving. […]

  2. How to Make Bacon Pancakes and Avoid Breakfast Pornography | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    March 5, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    […] can benefit from meat sprinkles. I pride myself in including bacon (or another pork product) in every dish on Thanksgiving. I. Love. […]

  3. Did You Know That I Sing Too? | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    July 30, 2014 at 7:06 am

    […] Okay, that’s a lie. I really can’t sing. In fact, my singing turns wine into vinegar and kills houseplants. But my husband can actually sing. And it’s been awhile since he and I have turned any of my old poetry into music. So we both thought we owed you some tunes. (If you missed any of the past songs, you should definitely listen to our Country Music Song and our Thanksgiving Carols.) […]

  4. Who Will Hold My Nuts Now? The Song (And a Contest!) | Foxy Wine Pocket says:
    August 29, 2014 at 5:33 am

    […] into a song. He absolutely loves this kind of challenge. After all, he made me a gay country song, Thanksgiving carols, and a punk rock song before. He loves this […]

  5. Happy Thanksgiving. For the love of the Sacred Bird, stop shopping! - Mum Revised says:
    February 26, 2016 at 6:04 am

    […] courtesy of another blogger, Foxy Wine Pocket, who does a fabulous job of celebrating the season. Check out how she celebrates (after you hear my song of course). Simply brilliant (her, not me, just to be […]

  6. Happy Thanksgiving. For the love of the Sacred Bird, stop shopping! - Mum Revised says:
    February 26, 2016 at 6:04 am

    […] courtesy of another blogger, Foxy Wine Pocket, who does a fabulous job of celebrating the season. Check out how she celebrates (after you hear my song of course). Simply brilliant (her, not me, just to be […]

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