A week before Easter, my son and I had an interesting conversation about the Easter Bunny. If you know my Colin, this could have gone any which way…
Colin: “Mom, where does the Easter Bunny come from?”
Me (unsure if we’re going to have a discussion on reproduction or the truth behind a mythical rabbit with an egg obsession): “Uhhh, where do you think?”
Colin: “I’m not sure. I don’t think he has parents like Santa Claus. I mean, Santa Claus must have had some nice parents for him to be so nice to kids.”
Me (taking it where I can get it): “Yes, nice parents are important.”
Colin: “Mom, you know that Tonka truck egg? I see that every year.”
Me: “Oh yeah? Is it your favorite?”
Colin: “No. I just don’t know why the Easter Bunny doesn’t get new eggs.”
Me: “Well, maybe he wants to reuse and recycle eggs. That’s good for the Earth, you know.”
Colin: “Yeah … Still, it seems like he could get some new ones … And I don’t know why he gets me a cheap $20 Lego set every year.”
Me: “That seems like a pretty nice gift to me.”
Colin: “Santa spends way more.”
Me: “Well, the Easter Bunny and Santa are different.”
Colin: “Oh yeah. I know. Like the Easter Bunny uses the front door.”
Me: “You don’t think he uses the chimney?”
Colin: “No, that’s Santa’s thing. The Easter Bunny just comes right in the front door.”
Me: “Huh.”
Colin: “And, you know, I don’t know why the Easter Bunny only hides eggs in the living room and dining room. Seems like he could be hiding them all over the house.”
Now I’m not 100% sure, but I think Colin just called the Easter Bunny a cheap, lazy bastard.
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Ha! Colin just calls ’em like he sees ’em! Smart kid!
Yes… He’s a smart little fucker. Dammit.
I’ll bet the Easter Bunny does hate Santa for being such a show-off.
I’m fairly certain Colin is writing the Easter Bunny a performance review telling him to step it up.
OMG, I love your ending. I’m rolling out of my chair! From the mouths of babes!
Thank you! That kid keeps me laughing daily. The little shit.
I’m 100% sure.
(Me too.)
If the bunny ears fit!
They fit a little too well.
That was too funny! I think you may be right!
I just told my kids that the Easter Bunny borrows Santa’s reindeer. They knew I was full of shit.
Yes, yes. I believe he DID just call the giant rodent cheap and lazy. I’d call you resourceful and wise. Potato-potahto.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Colin just call you a cheap, lazy bastard?
I love your kid. I love him.
I just had a very similar conversation with my daughter a couple of days ago! The Easter Bunny is a cheap lazy bastard!
That kid just calls them like he sees ’em! Funny.
Another brilliant Colin story. This kid cracks me up.
I was just talking about this to my husband last night – my Colin sent an email to his brothers “from the Easter Bunny” and was like, “Just wait until you see what I’m bringing you for Easter!” …. they’re gonna be pretty bummed when they realize it’s just candy!
Sounds like Santa better calm down! He’s making the other mythical holiday creatures look bad. 😉
OMG that last line… By far, one of the best one liners I’ve heard in a while. HILAR!
The English Easter Bunny is way cheaper than the American one. No toys, you get chocolate eggs off him and that’s it, they don’t even get hidden most of the time. Cheap lazyass bastard he is.
Way too funny.
That’s one smart kid you’ve got there. Maybe too smart. Why didn’t I ever think to pit all the holiday mascots against each other in a bidding war for my gratitude?
I love conversations with kids like this! No nonsense, straight forward and blunt. They get away with it.
I also have a blunt, straightforward no-nonsense view of the world, but when I do it people call me ‘arrogant’ or ‘rude’ or ‘Jamie, you can’t say that to people!’ Still, no point trying to change now!
Hahaha the Easter Bunny is a cheap, lazy bastard – I love it!
I think he did! Luckily, the bunny gets all the blame so let’s just leave it at that! 😀
If the Easter Bunny is bringing a $20 Lego set, then Colin scored big! All he ever left my kids was some jellybeans in plastic eggs and a chocolate bunny! #cheapass
Hate to say, but you’ll probably be reminded of this later when he’s older too. My kids are late teens and still bring up the cheapo gifts they got. It won’t just live in the past.
The one time the Easter bunny hid eggs outside our house, the night before to save her some sleep, the kids awoke to find the neighborhood squirrels had feasted on chocolate and jelly beans without them.
And Colin could always have Easter with us because this Bunny doesn’t leave gifts of anything but candy, bubbles, and trial size samples of body care items my tweens desperately need to start using.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
My daughter realized that the Easter Bunny shops at Target. Damn right and ol EB uses the Cartwheel app too 😂