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How Would You Describe Your Child?

By Foxy

My son's 4th-grade teacher asked me to describe him "in a million words or less." Not sure she was expecting this. @foxywinepocket | humor

My son’s 4th-grade teacher asked me to describe my son in “a million words or less.” I was tempted to send her my coffee table book about him, along with a bottle of wine and the words “Good luck.”

Ultimately, I decided that post didn’t really do my son enough justice, so I wrote something new. I kept it under a million words, though. Here’s what I sent the teacher:

Colin is a sweet, loving, gentle boy. But he doesn’t fit into a neat little box.

He still holds my hand, hugs me, and tells me that he loves me every day. He does the same with my husband.

Home is his very favorite place to be.

He is crazy smart, and his memorization skills rival those of Rain Man. At the same time, he prefers to be lazy if given the opportunity. He has been known to put forth the minimum effort required. He sometimes skims over directions. He works furiously (but not always meticulously) so he can return to “fun” things.

Colin is incredibly sensitive. He does not like to be made fun of, be made an example of, or be the center of attention. He has a hard time distinguishing between someone laughing with him and at him.

He loves dogs. And cats. And goats. And every animal really. But especially dogs. He told me that if he had millions of dollars, he’d open an animal sanctuary and assign a butler to each animal. He’d also buy video games and candy, but he thought of the animals first.

He loves to read. But he forgets that fact sometimes. It’s that minimum effort thing again.

Colin doesn’t like competition. He doesn’t like it when winners gloat. Or when people lose. He wants everyone to win. Unless it’s his sister. Then he’ll be the first in line to take her down.

He doesn’t like change, new experiences, or anything foreign to him. He probably won’t volunteer to do something in the class that he hasn’t done before. He needs to watch and process things before he feels comfortable participating.

He’s a quiet boy. Until he is comfortable. Then it’s hard to shut him up.

Colin is the opposite of an adrenaline junkie. He doesn’t like roller coasters, shots, scary movies, when people get in trouble, vegetables, plane rides, or really anything fearsome.

He’s experienced a lot of death in his nine short years: a great uncle, an uncle, four cats, and two dogs. He takes loss pretty hard, but grieves openly and healthily.

He has an aversion to physical activity and has never once voluntarily participated in any team sport. Miss Willow is some kind of sorceress because he actually enjoys PE.

He loves computers, video games, and the Internet. We hope to channel that passion and turn him into the next Bill Gates.

Colin is an introvert and needs alone time to recharge. He will remove himself from a group of people in the middle of a gathering. He will walk along the edges of the playground during recess. He will retreat into himself when he becomes overwhelmed. And that’s okay with us.

He loves imaginary play. He talks to himself and acts out all sorts of scenes in his mind. When I punished him and took away all of his favorite toys, he told me, “Mom. You may have cancelled fun today and taken away all of my toys, but there’s one toy you can’t take away.” And then he pointed to his head.

He loves creating art and writing stories. He has already written several comic books. (But he prefers technology.)

He has a strong sense of fairness and justice. He doesn’t like when people cheat, when people don’t get a turn, or when things don’t go his way.

Colin is funny. And he loves being silly. His sense of humor can be off the wall.

He’s extremely curious about the world. He asks a lot of questions. He wants to know the answers to everything. For my own sanity, I showed him the magic that is Google very early on.

He’s very rule oriented and very black and white. We’re working hard to help him see shades of grey (not the movie), not correct others when they make a mistake, and be more flexible when things don’t go as planned or anticipated.

He’s quirky. And a little socially awkward. I’ve got money on him growing up to be an engineer.

Colin will wear pajamas in public, mismatched clothing, and finger nail polish. He likes what he likes, and he doesn’t really care what anyone else thinks. He is totally unaffected by other people’s opinions and standards. I’m going to miss this quality when/if he outgrows it.

He can be a sneaky little #@$&! He steals cookies. He started his own YouTube channel (behind our backs—and was devastated when he got caught). He would never do that at school, but I think it’s interesting because it shows he can break rules and take risks despite his sometimes-rigid personality.

Colin is a sweet, loving, gentle boy. We hope you enjoy him as much as we do.

How would you describe your child in a million words or less?

Photo Credit: sifotography / 123RF Stock Photo


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Filed Under: Conversations with Colin, Parenting?

Comments

  1. Michelle says

    February 17, 2016 at 4:21 am

    Oh, thank you for this glimpse. What a lovely way to start my morning.
    Michelle recently posted…Worst Case Scenario AnxietyMy Profile

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:17 am

      Thank YOU for reading. xoxo

  2. Melissa says

    February 17, 2016 at 4:37 am

    Oh come on…now I have to do this too… loved it.

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:17 am

      Thank you! And if it makes you feel any better, now I have to do this for my daughter (whose teacher did not request one).

  3. Robyn says

    February 17, 2016 at 4:53 am

    That was really lovely.

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:18 am

      Thank you so much. xo

  4. Eleanor says

    February 17, 2016 at 5:03 am

    It sounds so much like my George. School was hard for him. He’s eighteen now.

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:18 am

      I bet George is a fabulous adult. 🙂

  5. Mary says

    February 17, 2016 at 5:31 am

    Wow – I could have copied and pasted when my son was in junior school. Beautiful description. Did you get a response from his teacher?

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:19 am

      Thank you so much! His teacher is wonderful, and we have discussed my quirky little guy a number of times. 🙂

  6. Amanda says

    February 17, 2016 at 5:37 am

    I love this. I have three boys and I HATE it when their teachers send home the little piece of paper for me to tell them about my son. I can’t fit all that they are and all that we adore about them on those little pages.

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:19 am

      EXACTLY. We need at least a couple of pages. 🙂

  7. Cassandra says

    February 17, 2016 at 7:29 am

    That is so lovely. My son is every bit as complicated as Colin, but I’m never allowed to tell the whole story in the 10 minute slot I get on Parents’ night. The school can barely handle the juxtaposition of incredibly smart and dyslexia, let alone his other 999 colors.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:21 am

      “colors” I LOVE that! 🙂

  8. Colleen says

    February 17, 2016 at 11:20 am

    That was beautiful…your son sounds like an awesome human being.

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:22 am

      Thank you! And I think he is. I’m not biased at all. 😉

  9. Teresa says

    February 17, 2016 at 11:42 am

    *sniff*. My 19 year old son will be leaving for Marine bootcamp next month. I think I’m going to do this for him. If I can stop crying long enough….

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:23 am

      That would be an awesome gift. xoxo

  10. Margot says

    February 17, 2016 at 1:04 pm

    I bet Colin will really appreciate this post when he grows up. It’s a lovely snapshot of him as a fourth grader. I’d consider myself very lucky if I had a mother who’d taken the time to describe my personality, passions, and how I relate in the world in such a loving and articulate way.

    • Foxy says

      February 22, 2016 at 10:23 am

      I hope so. But I’m putting money in the therapy jar just in case.

  11. steph says

    February 17, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    Add this to the book!! 🙂

    • Foxy says

      February 24, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      I will! 🙂

  12. mydangblog says

    February 17, 2016 at 6:31 pm

    What a gorgeous tribute to your son! Thanks for sharing.

    • Foxy says

      February 24, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      Thank YOU for reading. And commenting! xo

  13. Brooke says

    February 18, 2016 at 6:06 am

    I am one of your quiet followers but this was just so lovely I had to comment.

    • Foxy says

      February 24, 2016 at 10:10 pm

      Thank you so much for being here. And for commenting. xoxo

  14. Heather says

    February 18, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    I loved the “million words or less” question from teachers!
    (They adore responses like yours, by the way)
    Here was mine~
    http://dayleefix.blogspot.com/2014/08/hump-day-and-even-better-back-to-school.html?m=1

    • Foxy says

      February 24, 2016 at 10:12 pm

      Awww, I LOVE yours too.

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